Saturday, December 31, 2011

We Have Movement!!

I think the most exciting part of pregnancy (besides getting to meet the little one) is finally here! We have Movement!!

Christmas was the first time I knew for sure I felt our little Peanut (well at the time I didn't know for sure, but I will explain). I got home from all the Christmas activities and I was beyond exhausted. We got home relatively early so I wanted to rest a little before bed. I sat back on the love seat and kicked my feet up and closed my eyes. Just as I was getting very relaxed I felt a do I describe it..thumping(?) really low on my belly. My eyes shot open and I told hubber that I think I felt Peanut! I was so beyond excited, but it was so quick and subtle that part of me wondered if it really happened. My husband asked where I felt it and assured me that it probably was our little baby, but I still wasn't convinced.

I have heard people describe the feeling of fetal movement as butterfly wings, bubbles, and popcorn popping. These images really threw me off because it didn't really feel like any of these things. I guess bubbles would be the closest, but it felt more like a tapping or bumping?? It is really impossible to describe.

Peanut gave me the best Christmas present ever, but part of me still doubted that I really felt baby because it was so very soft and so very very fast. Since that day I have felt the same feeling 4 more times and am now 100% convinced that I am feeling our little Peanut. She loves to move when I lie down for the night or am very relaxed. Poor hubbers wants to feel her so bad, but it is such a subtle movement that I can barely feel so there is no way someone could feel her from the outside. He still tries. Last night as we were trying to sleep my husband asked me what was wrong because I kept moving and waking him up. I whispered that our little baby was awake. He quickly went from somewhat annoyed to laying his hand on my belly and trying to coax peanut into kicking. Poor guy doesn't stand a chance of feeling her yet!

I may regret this later, but I can't wait to feel some real kicks and jabs!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Seeing Red This Christmas

Seems that I have a new pregnancy symptom which is so fun. Part of me wonders if it is the dry weather of winter or if it truly is a pregnancy symptom. Either way I started to experience bloody noses for the first time in as long as I can remember. They really aren't a big deal and they don't gush, but when I go to blow my nose I find that my tissue is full of blood.

The reason I hate these bloody noses is that I cannot tell you how many times it starts during my treatments. I will be nebbing HTS, coughing, and spitting when all of the sudden bright red blood will fall into my cup. I panic thinking my lungs are bleeding only to blow my nose and find the tissue full of blood. If I wait five minutes of so it subsides and I can continue my treatment like normal, but it sure scares the crap out of me in the meantime.

I have an appointment again tomorrow with my high risk OB and will be sure to update. I hope I get a chance to see my little peanut again!!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Long Days, Short Nights

I have been crazy busy this week. Today I had a 10 hour work day with only a 15 minute break in the morning and a 1/2 hour lunch break. I had my regular job (with the 1/2 hour lunch/15 min break), the after school Math class, and finally tutoring. The problem with side jobs is there are no laws on breaks and it can turn into a VERY long day. I am just a little bit ready for break!

My principal approached me about teaching the Math class after school in January. I have decided for health reasons (and to avoid these very long days) I would not continue with after school Math after break. She asked me in a public place so I told her I needed to think about it. She was so amazingly sweet and told me that she wanted me to tell her what would make it a better experience for me since I was unsure I wanted to do it again. Since the ONLY reason I am not doing it is because I am pregnant and I have not told anyone at work yet I assured her I loved the experience and I would talk to her in private about it later. Tomorrow I will officially tell my principal, but won't tell the rest if my staff until January. I am sad I won't be teaching Math again, but I also know I need to make my health a priority.

In other news, tomorrow I am flying out to see my VERY best friend. The best part is...we are BOTH pregnant so we are having a preggo weekend getaway. She is a few months ahead of me so I am sure my bump will be wimpy next to hers, but I am so looking forward to a nice weekend with Shirley temples, Martinellis, preggo movies, prenatal yoga, and multiple bathroom breaks :)

Before I go off to bed I wanted to mention that I had my NT scan this past week and it was the most amazing experience ever. I will post in greater detail soon, but all I have to say is the tech said my baby has everything he/she could possibly need and that all he/she needs is to grow. She said baby looks perfect and she is 90% sure the gender. I have to say what a HUGE relief to know that despite my meds baby developed just fine AND I can't believe we kinda know the gender. I will post the gender after I get back from my weekend. In the meantime any guesses as to whether peanut is a boy or girl?

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Love Hate Relationship With My Vest

I don't know if it is just me or the fact that I have an old vest or if this is a common problem, but my Vest can be SO annoying!!!! My number one big problem with the vest are the stupid hoses. The problem with the hoses is that they will not for the life of me stay connected to the stupid machine or the stupid vest for the whole 30 minutes! Now this problem has been happening forever so recently I thought to call the company and get new hoses. My old hoses were 12 years old-Yikes! The company promptly sent over two brand new hoses. I thought my days of annoying hoses was over. I was so very wrong!

I usually get my vest and nebs all set up and grab my computer. I then sit very still and try not to move too much for the next 30 minutes. Despite my best efforts to only allow movement in my finger tips (touch pad on the lap top) and my chest for breathing the stupid hoses pop off the machine or the vest about every 5-7 minutes. I then have to grab the flailing hose and reconnect it which guarantees at least one other connection of the other hose to pop off. My vesting treatment usually includes a lot of cussing and my husband laughing under his breath at how pissed off I get at my stupid vest. I do vest at really high frequencies because personally it feels better and gets more moving, but the higher the frequency the more popping that occurs.

I started trying to get a Vest upgrade when I was 18 and didn't want to lug a 50lb Vest to and from college. 3 insurance companies later and constant applying for an upgrade I still have my old machine and don't see a new machine in sight.

I thought about super gluing the hoses into the machine or heck even duck taping them, but thought I would see if anyone else has this issue and what the heck do you do about it?

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Second Prenatal Appointment (not high risk)

I went to see my midwife yesterday for my first real appointment after my dating ultrasound. The appointment was much more frustrating and irritating than I had anticipated, but the frustrations had nothing to do with my little Peanut so I am grateful for that!

I had the appointment at 3:40 and got there a little early to find a waiting room filled with pregnant women. I felt a little left out as my bump looked like nothing compared to many of the women rubbing their big bellies. After waiting until until almost 4:00 the receptionist said they were very behind and maybe I should get my labs done first. No problem. I get to the lab and was told I have to get a glucose test and must return promptly in an hour. I explained I was waiting for an appointment and did not know if I could make it back in an hour, but the phlebotomist assured me an hour would be plenty of time so I drank the delicious elixir and off I went.

So I went back upstairs by 4:00 only to wait and wait. Grrr. I finally got called back only to wait some more. Soon the midwife comes in and seems so rushed I am not sure she would recognize me 3 seconds after I left. I told her I needed to get to the lab by 5:00 which made the rushing worse. I got a pap which was just as lovely as it sounds. I asked her about bleeding because my last pap (years ago) I bled after and knew I would freak out if I bled during pregnancy. Thank gosh I asked. The second she was done she said, "Yup, you are going to bleed, but don't worry it is from the outside of your cervix and baby will never know." She then explained that pregnancy can make your cervix very sensitive and more prone to bleeding. She quickly asked me about classes and breastfeeding and CF.

My favorite parts came next. She got the fetal monitor and I got to listen to my sweet babies heart beat. Of course I teared up and and was laughing at the same time. It was the sweetest sound I have ever heard. I love that little heart so much. She then asked me if I wanted to peak and baby. I would never turn a baby peak down so she pulled out the ultrasound machine. She said she was not doing measurements or anything besides looking for fun. She explained that dating ultrasounds are much more accurate than later ultrasounds. I then saw my little Peanut and was on cloud nine because I got a perfect view of Peanut's face!!!!!! I saw two eyes, a nose, ears, and a perfect little mouth that I swear on my life was smiling. I think my heart melted into a puddle on the floor. She snapped 3 quick pictures and turned the machine off. I think the total amount of time I saw my baby was 45 seconds, but it is amazing how much you can fall deeper in love in 45 seconds! I love thinking about little Peanut in my womb smiling!! Technically a fetus can make facial expressions and smile at 11 weeks. I am sure a smile at this point is simply practicing using facial muscles, but I love to think that little Peanut was purposefully smiling at me to let me know that he/she is happy and healthy.

When I write it out the appointment sounds long, but I all those things happened at record speed and it felt like a dizzying whirlwind. Luckily, I have a lot of choices for doctors as well as locations (perks to being in a city) and I love my high risk doc who I will be working with the majority of the time so I am not too upset, but  it was rather annoying.

I then ran down to the lab in the nick of time. The best part...I already got some of my results. Talk about fast- 24 hour results! I went online just in case and sure enough my glucose test was already back....and I PASSED!!!! Yay!!!!!!! So relieved. I will be tested constantly throughout pregnancy and I know diabetes can show up at anytime, but I will take every week or month I can get. I also passed some other random tests- blood clotting, liver levels..all good news. The one I am most anxious for is the first trimester screening (for chromosomal abnormalities) which should be back by tomorrow or Monday. Fingers crossed our little baby passes with flying colors.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Arrival of The Bump

I finally have a little bump!! I was having trouble figuring out what was bump and what was bloat. It is really common in early pregnancy to get a bloat bump which I kinda wish I didn't read because that is way less cute than a baby bump. I think now that I am almost 13 weeks it is officially a baby bump (an potentially a little bloat too, but I don't think about that)! Although I have been using a bella band since Thanksgiving I realized I had a real bump when my shirts consistently wiggled above my belly exposing the bottom of my bump. I kinda felt like an overweight truck driver with my gut hanging out, but then I remind myself I am prego and it becomes cute! Let me small, but ever growing baby bump!

This is what happens when I wear normal fitted shirts, my bump breaks free!

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Confessions Of A Pregnant Cyster

So I have some pregnancy confessions I thought I would share with you!

1. I love kids. I am having one of my own and heck I work at a school, but when my husband go out to eat for a nice dinner I HATE when the server sits a family with kids near us. Somehow it takes all the romance out of the experience. It kinda puts me in a bad mood!

2. I still get jealous of pregnant people. Uh, weird! The other day a girl I went through the credential program with announced her pregnancy on Facebook and I got jealous until I reminded myself that I was pregnant too!

3. I cry a lot! Luckily, I cry out of happiness rather than sadness. I think hormones get to me and when I think about being pregnant or my little baby I get all emotional. They are happy tears, but sometimes I feel like a freak driving down the freeway or while knitting my baby a blanket with tears streaming down my face.

4. Trying to think of baby names frustrated me to no end. I can't find even one name for either gender that I somewhat like! I find looking at names annoying.

5. I can't truly believe this is my last pregnancy. I know I have CF and I thought that if I could have a baby I would be so blessed and would play it safe with only one. Now that I am pregnant I keep thinking that this is my first, but not my last baby. Wishful thinking or mothers intuition? I dunno.

6. At my last ultrasound I was in awe of my baby, but left feeling a little confused/weird. The baby at 8 weeks looked nothing like the baby at 12 weeks and for some reason it was hard to believe that it was my same peanut. I felt weird not being able to recognize my own fetus and wondered where my little peanut went!

7. I know I am pregnant, I know I will have a baby in June, I have seen ultrasounds and the heart beating, but the reality that a little person is inside me moving around doesn't seem to register completely. Watching our baby jumping in my womb, but feeling nothing didn't help. I am hoping when I feel baby it will seem a little more real.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

First High Risk OB Appointment

I am a sexist. I admit this and I was proven wrong. When I found out my new High Risk OB was a male I had a mini freak out. But a man can't get pregnant or have their own children, he could never possibly relate to me and my pregnancy experience. I want a woman! I wasn't expecting much. A lot of paper work and history and...well that was about it. The appointment was 25 minutes from my house, but I work in a small town 25 minutes from my house in the opposite direction so it was quiet the trek. Living in the city I don't usually travel for doctors appointments. In fact, my CF clinic is about 10 blocks from my house and walkable if I wasn't so lazy! Talk about spoiled. I survived the 50 minutes drive and here is how the appointment went.

The hospital was HUGE and beautiful and we got a little lost on the premise thanks to me and my non existent sense of direction. I was nervous although I wasn't sure why and had no idea what to expect. It started like any other appointment with weight and blood pressure. My weight was up 3 pounds!!!! Woohoo! So excited that I am getting some fat for this baby. I don't even feel like I am working for this weight. I am eating uber healthy (obscene amounts of leafy greens, veggies, fruits...) and trying to avoid any unhealthy fats/processed foods although I do need a little junk once in awhile. I am eating more, but not anything different from my usual besides trying to make even healthier choices than before because my little peanut does not need to be developed with preservatives and high fructose corn syrup. Anyways, I digress.

So I am in the room and instantly see my favorite thing ever since being pregnant- an ultrasound machine!!! OMG now I am excited and wish the doctor would get his male (that I wish was female) butt in here. So in comes this man with a great smile and an awesome personality. I instantly like him and I could sense my husband did too! He went over my history and I have to say he was super impressed with the work I put into my health. I think we forget how much work CF is and it is so nice to have someone commend you for all the hard work you do. He works with a lot of asthmatics and it was actually really helpful since I have an asthma/inflammation/allergy component. He was asking me about what I do to control my environment in which I do pretty much nothing. He explained that there was so much I could do to help out the inflammation by changing my environment  Everything from wrapping my mattress and pillows in allergy/dust free products to having a minimalist bedroom. I actually really want to take some of his advice. He was also freaking out that when I do my home peak flow I usually hit 400-450. I guess that is good!

Anyways a quick overview of the appointment and why I love him. He hates the word high risk and said I am normal with a few potential challenges. They are going to watch baby closely to make sure the birth weight is good. They are going to watch my health closely to watch out for diabetes, preterm labor, and my lungs. He said that other than those challenges I am really just a regular pregnant woman. He said that I know my body and should have a zero tolerance uncertainty rate. Meaning no matter how silly it seems to CALL if anything seems abnormal or worrisome or for questions. He made me promise. He said that if things run smoothly and I get to delivery healthy that I should have any type of birth I want. He wrote in my chart to not be scared of any decision birth wise just because I am high risk. He said I could have an OB, a midwife, whatever as long as at the time of delivery everything looks good. He also talked to my husband in very thick American accented Spanish which my husband thought was cool and I know it was one factor that won him over.

We then got to my favorite part, we got to look at our little baby!! When he turned on the machine I got so nervous. What if the baby stopped growing, what if the baby wasn't even there, what if the baby was missing something vital like his/her head. Yes, I had these thoughts race through my mind in the 3 second it took to turn on the machine. The second my baby showed up on the screen I saw the heart beating away which melted away any fears. I knew my baby was alive and well. I then went into shock at how enormous this baby was. Last time little peanut was a little tiny thing with a head and a body, but now peanut was a baby with visible limbs and hands! Right after we saw the baby, he/she decided to jump twice! Ha, so cute! I think the baby went to sleep after because there wasn't much movement after that. The little baby had one hand straight up in the air as if to wave to us. I have to admit that the first ultrasound was much more clear because we could see a better outline of the face. I think because it was an internal ultrasound the first time and this time it was a regular ultrasound and so it was a little more blurry, but still obviously our sweet baby. The doc pointed out the body and then pointed to the skinny legs as he called them. This made me laugh because the baby may already take over me with skinny legs. The baby measured 2 days ahead of schedule which made mama proud that little peanut is doing well and growing just as he/she should! It was surreal to see this little life and think that the little baby is wiggling around in my body and I can't feel it. I feel like I love this little peanut so much and think about my little baby all the time! We got a video of the ultrasound on my husbands phone and I can't stop watching it. I want to meet this little person so bad and get to know his/her personality. I cannot wait until June to meet my sweet little June bug!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

High Risk OB

I thought I would mention that tomorrow I am going to a new high risk OB. I loved my original OB and I may be able to use her, but because of weird insurance issues I may have to switch so I am going to meet another OB through a different hospital to establish a relationship. I basically have special circumstances because my insurance does not have an accredited CF center that they are affiliated with so I can go outside my plan to see my CF doc. The high risk OB that works with my doc is not technically under my insurance. Since my insurance does have high risk OBs (just not OBs that work directly with the CF clinic) I may or may not be able to get coverage if I go outside my plan. I am trying to be open minded about tomorrow and see how I feel about this new OB. I will be sure to update and am very curious as to what the appointment will entail!

Blood and Pregnancy Don't Mix

My easy pregnancy luck had to come to an end at some point and Monday at 10:15 in the morning my luck ran out. I was in the reading room quickly grabbing some books for my reading group as I only had a few minutes when I felt a cough coming. I quickly walked to the hall to cough in "privacy" and had a rather heavy productive cough which is rare during the day for me lately as my lungs are usually pretty clear. I then felt what I believed to be a plug in my mouth along with a foul taste. The coughing didn't stop there and my mouth started to fill with this slimy foul mucus. I ran as fast as I could to the bathroom to spit knowing something was terribly wrong. As I slammed the door shut I was spitting into a paper towel only to see to large balls of gelatinous blood followed by thin regular blood. What the hell?! I have never felt better lung wise these past 3 months how the hell are my lungs bleeding? I started freaking out in my head. I think the recent death of a fellow cyster due to a massive lung bleed made me much more panicky than I would have been otherwise.

I had no idea what to do, but I also knew that I had 8 first graders waiting for me to start a reading group and I was already late. I ran from the bathroom and to the classroom with tears still filling my eyes. I luckily pulled it together before the kids noticed and got through the next 1/2 hour. Of course I have another group immediately after and didn't have time to check the status of my lungs.

The second my lunch break started I ran into the bathroom and called my doc, leaving a message. I then started coughing and spitting. It seemed to only be streaking at this point. I was so baffled and afraid of what the doc might say. He called me back pretty quickly and went through a whole explanation as to the causes, course of action, and that although scary the amount I coughed up was not reason for concern. He believes the plug I coughed prior is what caused the bleeding and that the jell-o like blood had pooled in my lungs before the plug was completely coughed out. Of course the slimy fresh blood was just that. Since I am currently taking Cayston and feel great he did not put me on antibiotics. He told me to call immediately if it happened again.

When I got home from work I went straight to bed for a 2 hour nap. I figured my body needed healing time and I wanted to take it easy. I should have looked online because everyone says not to lay flat after a bleed. Oops. I woke up feeling like my lungs were full of crud till I coughed out all the pooled thick blood. I then couldn't stop crying (hormones?) because my husband and I were supposed to set up put Christmas tree and I slept through the whole evening. We ran to Target to buy Vit K (couldn't find it) and to get a tree stand. A little back note before I had taken my nap I ripped off my work pants (who sleeps in pants) and upon awaking I quickly pulled them on to go to Target. As we are getting a Christmas tree stand (after being there about 25minutes) I suddenly realized my pants were INSIDE OUT! You could see the stupid seems and everything! My husband thought it was hilarious and after a good laugh myself I just wanted to bolt. We did get the tree stand and I waited in a busy line with my inside out work pants. Sheesh!

Fast forward to the evening. I slept propped on a bunch of pillows (not comfortable) and slept fine until 1:30. I could feel once again old nasty blood pooled in my right lung (now I know where the bleed came from) so I got up and coughed as much of the old nasty crap out of my lungs. This was the last that I have seen the blood besides a little streaking. I get some old dark blood sometimes with my mucus, but overall it is gone.

Here is the part that freaks me out the most. This is the first and only time I have ever in my entire CF life had true hemoptysis! I have had streaking sure, but afew Tablespoons of pure blood? Never! My lungs have never been bleeders and it freaks me out that in pregnancy it has to start. From forums and message boards it seems that some people start hemoptysis during pregnancy (please have this a one time deal for me) and some people with chronic hemoptysis stop bleeding during pregnancy. There seems to be no scientific studies on this topic, but I think it is about time the CF world looked deeper into CF, bleeds, and pregnancy!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Pregnancy Worries

This pregnancy has brought more joy than I could ever imagine. My husband and I feel closer and more in love than we ever have in our entire relationship because of this little peanut growing in my body. I love waking up each day knowing my little one is safely growing bigger and bigger in my womb. With all this being very true there are some fears that like to seep into my joyful days.

All mothers worry about their children. I believe it is human nature and it is unnatural not to have worries and fears. CF brings fears for your baby and some extra fears for yourself. I want to share these fears with you because I am sure you will/are/did experience several if not all of these fears during pregnancy. 

My first set of fears revolve around my little baby. I sometimes get stopped in my tracks for fear of the meds I take hurting my little one. I feel an immeasurable amount of guilt that something I am taking to keep myself healthy could potentially negatively effect my little one. I then have to reassure myself that I have been given the okay for my meds by my CF doc, a high risk OB, my regular OB and an on call nurse (I was freaked out in early pregnancy and had to call an on call nurse to ask yet again about my meds) and that getting sick and needing IVs often would be worse than my daily meds. I also remind myself that I have yet to come across a cyster that has had a child with problems due to my set of meds. This will reassure me for a while, but I can't help worrying that my albuterol may be hurting my precious baby.

I also worry about breastfeeding. To me breastfeeding is the single most important aspect of the after birth. I know not all women can breastfeed, but through working at WIC (in college) and getting my degree in nutrition I know that most lactation consultants or willing doctors can  overcome virtually any breastfeeding obstacle from very low milk supply, trouble latching, to inverted nipples (which I luckily don't have). My concern does not come from breastfeeding itself, but my ability to maintain enough weight to breastfeed as the calorie demands are quiet high and after the stresses of pregnancy and childbirth I hope my body can keep on the weight. <-- must sound funny to all those women who give birth and want to lose weight as fast as humanly possible. 

I also worry slightly about needing IVs after birth that may make breastfeeding unsafe. Although you can always pump and dump during the course of IVs. My goal (my CF doc was 100% with me on this) is to breastfeed a minimum of 3 months if my health is not great (but not horrible) and as long as baby and I feel necessary if my health is good.

I also have fears about my own health. I worry that pregnancy/birth will be hard on my body and I won't be well enough to really enjoy my baby. I worry that I will need IVs and too much sleep and miss out on being a mommy in those early days. I also worry that if my overall health declines that I won't be everything I need to be for my little one. 

I think it is okay to acknowledge these fears and of course they enter my mind. I also know there is no use in spending all my energy worry about things that never happen. I try to allow myself to feel these fears and worry a little (I don't think it is good to suppress feelings) and then I try to let them go. Most babies are born healthy. Most cysters I have come across are great mothers and everything their children need even if their health declined and they are not the same as they were CF wise before birth.  This is my biggest dream coming true and I can't waste such a precious blessing by worry all the time. 

Friday, November 25, 2011


Today I am at 11 weeks and can't believe how quickly time is going by! My baby is now the size of a lime according to the bump. Although I do like using the fruit they mention as a way to track how big baby is I don't think it is all that accurate. The baby is supposed to grow from the size of a lime to plum to peach to a lemon. I thought a peach was bigger than a lemon...whatever.

I have been feeling really good this past week, but I think it has a lot to do with being off work. I am getting about 11 hours of sleep each night and have yet to need a nap during the break. I am sure I will go back to being tired and needing naps on Monday when I start working again. All my other symptoms besides peeing several times a night have seemed to died down as well and I am hoping they stay that way. I just need to make it through 3 weeks and then I get 2 weeks off for Christmas so I am pretty sure I can manage that.

I am a little worried about work finding out too early. Ideally, I wanted to wait till after Christmas break to tell coworkers, but I am not sure how realistic that is. My belly is definitely getting rounder and what little waist I had is now completely gone. My mom bought me a bella band because my pants are getting too tight which was a life saver for Thanksgiving. If my coworkers don't notice my expanding midsection they will wonder why in the next three weeks I have to go to 3 doctors appointments! Sheesh!
Dec 2- High risk OB (this is a new high risk OB because of my insurance)
Dec 7- 1st real prenatal appointment (the last appointment was just a pregnancy dating appointment)
Dec 13- An ultrasound (NT scan) to check for chromosomal abnormalities.

I also have an early pregnancy class the 12th, but it is in the evening and so I won't miss work. I have no idea what I will be learning, but I am excited to meet other women in the same stage of pregnancy. I am also going to take a prenatal yoga class once I hit my second trimester so I can meet more moms-to-be.

Last thing in this random post. After finding out I was preggo I requested a set of my annual labs (even though I had just gotten them a few months prior) to ensure all my vitamin levels were okay. Just got the results and A,D,E,K are all in the safe/normal zone. My A1C is low which is great (high would indicate diabetes), liver (which has been high in the past) and other organs looking good, and overall  nutrition looks good.  The only  bad IgE. This relates to allergies and asthma! Hah! I could have told you that. Fall is beautiful, but something in the air never plays nicely with my body. Overall, very happy with how this pregnancy is developing and I am hoping my good luck continues into the next 2 trimesters!

Monday, November 21, 2011

Pregnancy Meds

Disclaimer: I am in no way giving medical advice. I am not a medical doctor and have no medical knowledge other than what my doctors have told me. This is the interpretation of what I believe they told me and am not giving advice. Always talk to your own doctors before changing any of your medicines and always consult with a doc before getting pregnant with CFNow that nobody will sue me on with my docs opinions of CF meds and pregnancy.

I know as cysters wanting to have babies our biggest question is what meds are safe during pregnancy, which meds can we stay on, and how will we survive without some of the meds!?! I am going to share with you the opinions of both my high risk OB and my CF doc. They had slightly different opinions  which makes it a little confusing.

Prior to pregnancy I went to a high risk OB who looked over all my meds. My med list is as follows:
  1. Singulair (year round)
  2. Albuterol (2x/day via neb)
  3. Advair 500/50 (2x/day)
  4. Hypertonic Saline (2x/day)
  5. Pulmozyme (1x/day) I used to do 2, but I cut back recently
  6. Cayston (3x/day month on/month off)
  7. Azithromax (1x/day)
  8. Rhinoquart Aqua (2x/day)
  9. Enzymes (not a med, but whatever)
My high risk OB said all of my meds are fine to take during pregnancy. The Albuterol and Advair have the highest risk, but said she all her asthmatic patients are on them and it is more important for baby to get enough oxygen so she said it wasn't a problem. She said everything else was fine and that some were more that fine! HTS = salt water= perfectly safe. Enzymes= perfectly safe. 

Fast forward to my first CF clinic while pregnant. My CF doc told me that although the high risk OB said everything was fine, he is slightly more conservative. He told me to stop Azithromax for the 1st trimester because he didn't see it having an immediate effect on my lungs. He said only use Singulair when needed, same with the nose spray. He also lowered my Advair to 250/50. Everything else was fine in his opinion.

Huh. This left me in a predicament. Which doc do I follow? I want to protect my little baby, but I am also afraid of getting sick and needing IVs which would be much more powerful meds than what I take now. I figured that the High risk OB has the baby's interest in mind and would not allow me to take something that they knew would be too dangerous (even though there are always risks, just some meds have higher risks than others). The CF doc has my interest in mind so if he made the changes and had my best interest in mind then I could listen to him and should still be healthy.  For 3 weeks I stopped the allergy pills (but I usually get November allergies), I stopped Azithromax, and switched Advair with the lower dose prescription. This is what happened:

My allergies went crazy! I was so stuffy for 2 weeks that I could barely breath out of my nose, had post nasal drip which led to a morning cough and a sore throat. I was worried the post nasal drip and excessive mucus would effect my lungs. I decided to start the allergy pills again and the symptoms immediately disappeared. I figure after November I will try to get off them again because November and the spring are when my allergies are the worst. I feel okay with the lower dose Advair and will wait until my next clinic to see if my numbers are still doing okay. If they are I will stay on the low dose. Stopping Azithromax hasn't been a problem and I think I will wait until the baby is born to start again.

It is such a fine line between protecting your baby's exposure to meds in pregnancy and keeping yourself healthy enough to have a healthy baby. I knew parenting would be hard, but with CF the hard decisions start immediately after conception! 

Although I am not on any of these meds I was told that Tobi is usually avoided during pregnancy and that meds like Cipro and Levaquin are not safe. There is a window of opportunity that my high risk OB said Bactrim is safe, but other times in pregnancy that it is considered dangerous. My doctor said that in the case of a flare up there are some safe IV meds. My high risk OB said that Prednisone can be used, but my CF doc refuses to allow me to ever go on Prednisone (pregnant or not). I know it is a ton of info, but I hope that it gives you a little insight as to what you may or may not be able to take during pregnancy.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

10 Weeks

I am 10 weeks pregnant which means we have only known about our baby for 6 weeks now. This seems crazy because it feels like I we have been a family of 2 1/2 forever now! The baby, who we have named Peanut, has become so much of our daily lives that I sometimes forget Peanut is only the size of a prune and won't be joining us in the "real world" for 30 more weeks!

Peanut is constantly involved in every aspect of our lives. The days I leave to work before my husband I give him a kiss goodbye and he says goodbye to each of us individually and then send us each off with some message about taking good care of each other (me and Peanut). When he leaves first he always gives me a kiss and then plants one on my stomach for Peanut.Throughout the day Peanut often butts into our conversations because he/she is very opinionated, Peanut helps us decide what to eat for dinner and when to go to bed, and he/she is constantly flip flopping which parent is the favorite. We have so much fun being Peanuts voice, I really pray that our neighbors can't hear us through the walls because we sound like the most delusional crazy couple that ever existed. I have decided that pregnancy is the most fun job to have and I can't wait for this baby to get bigger and strong enough that we can feel him/her.

Symptoms! So I am still feeling really well! If it wasn't for that little ultrasound I would wonder if there really was a baby in there! I have yet to experience nausea, food cravings/aversions or any of those unpleasant food related symptoms. I spent so much of my non-pregnant life nauseous (orals meds or just random bouts of nausea) that I still can't believe that when "normal" people get nausea I lucked out! My chestne disappeared, but I need to invest in cover up because my skin thinks I am 16 again and I am definitely experiencing breakouts on my face. Yuck! Gotta love hormones! I also invested in  Poise (yeah, I know you wish you could be like me) and now I can sneeze worry free!! The last symptom that has appeared in the past week is that I NEED a nap by 5:00pm. I can easily nap for 1-2 hours in the evening and still fall asleep at 9:00 like clockwork. So besides my much needed naps and new zits I feel great and am loving being pregnant!

Last thing I wanted to add is this has to be the most beautiful fall ever!! When the rest of the country was experiencing fall we had fall like weather in that the harsh heat of summer faded, but our leaves had yet to change. We are always a little late with our cold seasons and a little early with our warm seasons. Well, this year we have had such a gradual change in weather that our trees turned brilliant oranges, reds and yellows what seemed like forever ago and they have yet to drop their leaves. Everyday I drive to work in awe at how pretty the leaves are this year. It is as if autumn arrived and then time froze and we are in a perpetual state of early fall. I keep waiting for the morning that I wake up to barren trees, but those stubborn leaves won't budge. I wouldn't mind if they stayed that way until Spring!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Say What? Scale Drama

I have a little story about a scale...these never end well.

 After my positive pregnancy test I ran out to buy a scale. Unlike most pregnant woman I was not using it to ensure my weight did not climb too high too quickly, rather I wanted to make sure my weight did climb and as quickly as it wanted. Of course while making the purchase a little detail about myself slipped from my mind- I hate scales!! Let me explain why.

So I know weight fluctuates. Your scale will read differently in the morning vs night, different days in your cycle (when your not pregnant), and sometimes just when it feels like throwing a different number at you to throw you off. So I told myself I would weight myself once a week just to ensure I was maintaining or gaining. Yeah, here is the issue. I pee 100 times a day. The scale is in the bathroom. On my way to pee I see the scale and think, Ooohh I should just jump on real quick for fun. So I do. Not the best choice. I do try to weigh myself around the same time each day (before the shower and before bed) besides all the other random times I jump on just for kicks. This would be great and all except my weight jumps around like crazy!!! Two nights ago my weight read 126lbs which is great! Last night it read 124lb which is a little low. Tonight...125lbs. I have read everything between 122lbs (say what?!) to 126.9lbs (woohoo) and everything in between during the course of this week and it is only Wednesday.

I am sure bloat comes into play, but how can I possibly know if I gained actual weight or not? I know, having a degree in nutrition (but any google search would tell you the same thing. So much for 4 years of college), that a pound is the equivalent to 3,500 calories. Meaning to gain you need an excess of 3,500 cals and to lose you need a deficit of the same amount. Also, pregnancy in the 1st trimester uses only about 300 cals/day. So in order for me to gain 1lb I need to consume an excess of 3,800 extra calories. Wow! To lose I need a deficit of 3,200 cals. Again, Wow! There is no way I am losing/gaining that many calories in the matter of 24 hours! Impossible!! So how do I know how much I have gained and how much is my crazy scale (which is pretty consistent when weighing my husband) and how much is bloat? I don't. So for now I curse when I see my scale and refuse to even tap it with my toe...until I wonder if maybe, just maybe I gained a little weight and jump on. It usually ends with me staring dumbfounded at the numbers glowing on the display screen and walking away scratching my head.

Currently, all I can say is I may have lost 3lbs since becoming pregnant or I may have stayed the same or I may have gained 2 pounds or well...hell your guess is as good as mine!!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

I Hate Tape

*Gross topic/pics ahead, don't read if gross things make you queasy*

I hate tape with a passion. No, not Scotch tape or duct tape, but any adhesive for your skin. The last few PICC lines I had such severe reactions to adhesive that the Infusion Center nurses didn't know what to do with me. I developed small oozing blisters everywhere that came in contact with any type of adhesive that would leak so badly that the adhesive would literally fall off. We tried EVERY adhesive and every type of prep (chloroprep seems to give me issues too) and the nurses finally gave up. The last PICC line my husband learned to clean my PICC site and we covered the PICC site in gauze and then wrapped the gauze with Coban (the tape that sticks to itself, but does not stick to skin). It was good in that it allowed my skin to heal, but it was bad because it needed to be changed everyday because it was not as sterile as adhesive.

Now to the reason I currently hate tape. Along with pregnancy comes a lot of blood draws. No big deal except that they always want to tape the stupid cotton ball to my arm after a draw. I usually tell the nurse I am allergic to adhesive and they allow me to hold the cotton ball to my arm instead. Unfortunately, this last draw on Wednesday I was in the middle of a conversation with the nurse when BAM she slapped on a big old piece of that stupid white tape over my cotton ball. I tried ripping it off immediately, but it was too late. it is now Saturday and the entire area that was covered in tape is super itchy and I have even developed a few small blisters. Ugh!

With my PICC the doc gave me prescription cream to reduce the swelling and inflammation and also to reduce the itch. Being pregnant I am sure I cannot use these creams so I am testing my will by not scratching! As I said I HATE tape.

Below is a pic of my blistery arm several days after my PICC was pulled after a week of using only gauze AND after I had been using prescription strength creme to calm my angry skin down. The little area right around my PICC site was what my entire arm looked like. I was worried my skin would never be smooth again, but thankfully besides the PICC scars all those nasty bumps healed perfectly smooth. 

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Can I go on Maternity Leave Yet?

I realized my posts are getting incredibly long. So long in fact that I don't want to proof read them. So I don't. Yeah, sorry about that!

All day at work all I wanted to do was go home and look at my babies little face, his/her nose in particular because I can't believe I did such a good job making a little baby nose. You shouldn't have to go to work when such exciting things are going on. At least it is a 3 day weekend!

In other news I think my neb compressor may die soon because it is currently about 100x louder than it was before. Is that a sign it is going to die? Or do I need a knew filter? So between my Vest (the old school kind) and my compressor, my treatment time is deafening. Any suggestions for compressors? I currently have a proneb ultra that has lasted for YEARS. I try to leave it on a few extra minutes to dry the tube and then sometimes I just forget to turn it off. Environmentalists hate me :( Point being this neb has been pretty trusty and has worked a lot of overtime, but I am all for suggestions!

Enjoy your long weekend!!!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Cutest Fetus Ever!!!

Okay, I know ALL mothers say this, but I am pretty sure I have the cutest fetus in all of existence! Seriously, we have one cute baby!

So I had my appointment and it was a LONG one and full of information! When we arrived I was given a mountain of paperwork which took me quite a while to fill out! They asked every medical history question you could possible imagine. I then had to make decisions about prenatal testing. Lots of questions regarding if CF runs in the family and would you like to test the baby for felt kinda surreal having CF and seeing it all over the paperwork as something for parents with an unborn child to worry about. Of course I never want my child to have CF and my husband was tested before we even started trying, but it was kinda sad to think that some parents fill out the paperwork knowing they would abort a baby with CF considering how much I love my life.

They then did a internal ultrasound. I believe time sat still as we were waiting to see the image of our little one for the first time. At first all I could see was a blob and I instantly started trying to make out a baby and then suddenly out of nowhere there on the screen was a profile of our picture perfect little baby! The doctor then pointed to a little spot in the chest and said, "Can you see the baby's heart?" And there was the lightest little flicker of a teeny heart beating. My whole self melted. There was our beautiful baby with a little flickering heart nestled in my body. The doc took several pictures and said she would give us some to take home. She confirmed there was only one baby (whew), there was a good sac of fluid (yay), the umbilical cord looked good (nice), and that our baby looks great (sheer joy). She then said that I was exactly 8 weeks and 5 days and that my due date would be June 14, 2012. At this point she had to leave to fill out some paperwork and print the pictures of the baby. My husband and I beamed at each other and said a million times how CUTE our baby is. I think I went crazy with joy and couldn't stop saying, "Oh my god our baby is SOOO CUTE!"

Seeing your unborn child for the first time is something I could never find the words to describe. Awe, overwhelming love, pride, peace, relief, and amazement are some words that come to mind. Seeing the little heart beat has to be one of the most moving and amazing moments in my life. To witness the tiny heart of a life I created with my husband was so beautiful and awe inspiring. To think a little person uniquely ours is in my body developing and growing each and every day is enough to make me feel like I have eveything in the world I could ever want.

When she returned she gave us 5 photos of our little one and then had to leave again. We quickly took pics of the sonogram pic and texted the picture to close family and friends. We wanted everyone to see what a good job we are doing on making a baby. I cannot explain how over the moon with pride we are. It feels so much more real now that I can picture our little baby in my body.

I then had set up a bunch of appointments. SO MANY appointments. I realized as hard as I tried not to I am still going to miss a lot of work. I also signed up for a early pregnancy class this December. I have no idea what we will learn, but I figured it couldn't hurt. Finally, I went to the lab and the woman working the front desk asked me how far along I was. I told her 8 weeks and she replied she was 7 weeks. We beamed and shared about our pregnancies together and then I was called back to pee in TWO cups. Which was fine because I pee like a race horse these days and easily filled both cups. I then gave 4 vials of blood and was on my way.

This day may be one of the best days of my entire life!! I am overwhelmed with love for this little life and will sleep much more soundly knowing our little one is healthy and growing tremendously each day.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Tomorrow..dun dun dun

So first off I want to say THANK YOU so much to everyone that gave their input about my sub job. I really appreciate people that truly understand what it is like to have CF. I feel that so many people cannot even begin to understand what our days entail and therefore can't offer relevant advice even though they mean well. So again THANK YOU!!!!

So I have to say that my first trimester is going quite well. No nausea yet. YAY! I do have one very unusual symptom: my normal love for anything sweet has disappeared. Kinda freaks me out. I have a little pile of Halloween candy (the good stuff too- Snickers, Milky Way) that has been sitting on my dresser for weeks and a tub of ice cream in the freezer that I have barely touched. I worry this baby will be just like his/her father and hate sweets. Yikes, then I would be the only sweet tooth in the house. Could be good...more for me!

On to exciting news: I have my first prenatal appointment tomorrow FINALLY!!!!!!!!! It is amazing how little the nurses and doctors care about your pregnancy until you are at least 8 weeks. I am over here so excited that my life has changed forever and want to badly someone to tell me that everything looks good AND I am trying to be a good mom and get prenatal care asap and the appointment center said the docs refuse to see anyone before 8 weeks unless there is an issue. Uh...really? I have to sit here for a month and wait?! I thought the 2 week wait for the positive pregnancy test was hard and now I have to wait 4 weeks to have someone tell me my little raspberry is okay? Sheesh. Well, enough complaining because tomorrow is the DAY!!! I will be sure to give you every detail after my appointment!!! Fingers crossed all goes well.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Need Some Advice from My Cysters

Along with pregnancy came a lot of job related luck. It seems that job opportunities keep coming my way, BUT being pregnant makes it feel like the least desirable time ever to get job opportunities. I feel like nobody understand the struggles of CF and really very few people in the world know much about pregnancy and CF (myself included) and so I need help from my beautiful cysters that at least know more than my friends/family about having CF. I know ultimately the decision is mine, but I would love some input.

So the day before I found out I was pregnant I accepted a tutoring job which I talk about it an earlier post. It was an easy way to make money, but also added 1 1/2hours  to my workday not including commuting. Because I had no idea how pregnancy would effect me as far an nausea and fatigue I decided to cut back to 2 days a week. Within a few days of cutting back my tutoring hours my principal approached me and asked if I would teach an after school class 3 days a week for 6th graders that were struggling in Math. After a LOT if indecision and worry I decided to take it because it was only a six week course and we have a few days off and Thanksgiving break in those 6 weeks. Okay, so between my job, tutoring, and teaching I seem to be doing fine.

So NOW I get a call that a teacher is going to be out and they need a long term sub. So here is my predicament. My current position is fine and dandy, but it is not the same as teaching which I LOVE. My current position is less time consuming. I work an hour less than I would if I took the sub job because teachers have to stay longer before and after school than I do. Also, I don't have to grade and prep on my own time because I am allotted time during the week to do those types of things. As a teacher this would all be on my own time. Oh and I would still take the Math class after school for an extra hour 3 days a week.

If I wasn't pregnant I would take this opportunity in a heart beat. I love teaching, but I am pregnant and I want to make sure that my baby is cared for first and foremost. As of now I am feeling fine in my pregnancy besides needing a lot of sleep, but I don't want to sacrifice my baby's health for a short term position. It is so hard because CF pregnancy is such uncharted territory. I would hate to miss out on a really fun opportunity that I would LOVE if I feel fine, but I would hate to take it and have my health suffer.

Also last thing (this is sooo long) nobody knows I am pregnant at work AND I am not planning on going back to work next year because I want to be a stay at home mom for a few years so it is not like this sub job will not help me secure a job next year because I won't be there. Also, at this point nobody knows how long the sub job would go for.

Okay after that novel, I know nobody can decide for me, but any insight or words of wisdom? My doctors don't seem overly concerned about anything at this point, but said around 6 months I may need to cut back or quit work depending how I feel. I am so torn and feel that nobody understands CF and pregnancy and so I can't get real advice or insight from anyone. If you have any thoughts or ideas please send them my way. I have to decide by Monday!! Thank you!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

The Less Attractive Side of Pregnancy

I have always thought of pregnancy as a beautiful fleeting moment in a woman's life. I find pregnant woman beautiful as fascinating. I often stare, but try not to stare at pregnant bellies out of the corner of my eye. I have never been so rude to ask a pregnant woman to touch her belly, but have always wondered what it felt like to feel a little kick or a nudge from an elbow. While I still think pregnancy is absolutely beautiful I also realize that our bodies do some no so beautiful things in order to accommodate this little soul. So far I really can't complain as I have yet to get an ounce of nausea or deal with any other hellish symptoms, but I have already experienced a few less than flattering side effects.

  1. Chestne: Yes, you have all heard that pregnancy can cause breakouts on the face making a pregnant woman look like a teen again, but I got a different variation of this fun little pregnancy symptom: chestne. This is what I like to call acne of the chest. Do I have a speck of acne on my face? No. On my back? No. Oh, but wait what are those little red dots all over your over sized (for me) chest? Yes, you guessed  its the ace-attack. Now it just started this week (week 7) and I am hoping it will be short lived. The only good part is now that all my conservative shirts are suddenly slutty with my new found cleavage I have to hide my chest anyway. 
  2. Lack of patience: I like to think of myself as a very patient person. I have to be patient considering I work with little munchkins all day, but these past few weeks I find my patience wearing thin faster than it ever has before. I have yet to have crazy mood swings that you hear about in early pregnancy so I guess being a little less patient is fine by me.
  3. Fatigue: I find that by 8:00 I am ready for bed. Actually, more like by 7:00. I find that I can't lay on the couch without passing out. I need to start doing my full treatment session right after school or I worry I will fall asleep before getting them done. Last night I fell asleep on the couch around 6:00pm only to wake up at 11:30pm and had to do my hour of treatments before returning to bed. Can't say it is any worse than the fatigue that accompanies an exasperation though!
  4. The last and WORST unflattering symptom. Because my bladder is full almost all the time I could probably pee every hour if given the opportunity, but working in a school does NOT allow for that many bathroom breaks. Having a perpetually full bladder coupled with a weakened bladder due to coughing a lot I find that if I sneeze or cough too hard I seem to have some errr...leakage. A little scary since the baby is still too small to put pressure on my bladder. I think in a few months I may have to live in panty liners. I a such a sexy pregnant lady!! Hahah
With all that has been mentioned I still love being pregnant and get sad thinking that 9 months will fly by even though then I get to have my little baby in my arms. I want to relish in each and every day because I am sure this will be my one and only pregnancy. 

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Telling My Parents They are Going to be Grandparents!

I realized that I told the story of telling my husband that he was going to be a daddy, but I never told the story of telling the rest of my family. So here it is:

October 8th was the day I found out my lifelong dream of becoming a mom was coming true and the same day my husband found out he was going to be a dad. We decided to only tell our immediate family and my very best friend (who is 2 months ahead of me in her pregnancy) because they were the people we would tell even if we miscarried. I had to tell my whole immediate family at the same time because there was no way I could choose telling one person over another. My husband and I decided to put a onsie (I bought 6 months ago to inspire me to workout for our future child) in a gift bag. We made one for my mom and one for my dad. We decided to give them the gift bag at our weekly family Sunday dinner. So around 4:30 we got in the car with our gift bags and excitedly talked about sharing the big news the whole way to my parents house, about 20 minutes.

When we arrived I could barely contain myself and grabbed the gift bags from the back of the car and dashed to the front door. As I opened the door my heart sunk!!! There in the front entryway was a complete stranger!! My brother greeted us with a, "Oh hey, this is my roommate." All the blood emptied from my body and my husband and I looked at each other in sheer horror. Our little secret would have to wait another week.

I have no idea how I kept the secret that long. I think it was the reason for my insomnia that week because I just had so much trouble not telling my family.

The next week we were relieved to see that no Sunday dinner guests were at my parents house and we could finally reveal our secret! We sat my parents at the head of one side of the table and had them open the presents at the same time. Needless to say, everyone was shocked. There was a lot of congrats, I can't believe it, and my dad popped the champagne. Of course I had to pass on the champagne because the little one isn't old enough to drink yet, but everyone else enjoyed it. My mom refused to give back the onsie and it is now hanging in her closet.  We are thrilled that nobody suspected and that everyone is overjoyed that a new little one will be joining us in Sunday dinners. It is so much more fun to be able to share the excitment with others and I cannot wait until we are 13 weeks (6 weeks from now) and we can share our news with everyone we know!

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Hormones make Me Crazy!!!

So I have always been kinda a hypochondriac. Not the real kind that everyone in the ER knows your name because you are always in there dying of god knows what. Rather I am the type that every time I get a headache I secretly wonder if I have meningitis and then go on to mentally prepare myself for what life will be like if they have to amputate all my limbs. I wish I could say I was lying, but it is true. On the positive side I have yet to contract meningitis and happily have all my limbs...for now.

Yeah so who would have known that pregnancy would make me 100 times more of a crazy person? Figures. Let me explain. Thursday night at 1:00 in the morning I got up to pee. Now that alone should have kept my fears at bay because every since being pregnant I almost always pee sometime during the night. Well, this night as I emerged from bed I realized that my baby feeders weren't really all that heavy...Wait they weren't too sore either!! Holy shit! So I quickly woke up my husband in a panic telling him I think I wasn't pregnant anymore!!! "Are you bleeding?" He asked half groggy half panicked. "No." "Are you crampy?" "No." "Well then why do you think you aren't pregnant anymore?" He seemed to be less nervous. "I think I lost my boobs, look!!!" I practically wailed! "They look the same to me" he said now trying really hard not to fall back asleep. "NO! They are smaller and they don't hurt and they aren't heavy so what if they shrink and are gone by tomorrow? Besides I haven't thrown up, aren't pregnant women supposed to barf all the time? I feel to good to be pregnant!"

Now my husband knew I was crazy when I married him and so he has learned to put up with my craziness. He reassured me that I was just getting used to the size/firmness of my boobs and they weren't any different. He then reassured me that the baby was hanging on tightly and wasn't going anywhere. It kinda worked, but I still was freaked out and didn't fall asleep for quite some time.

When I woke up my chest wasn't really all that sore which of course didn't help the situation, but luckily work got in the way so I forgot about my dilemma for 9 hours. I am still a little concerned and am hoping everything is alright. I have to wait until my first appointment which is now Nov 9th. Only 11 days till I get to see and hear my little blueberry (the size of my baby) and make sure he/she is healthy and growing right on schedule.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Cysters Make The Best Pregnant Women

October 10, 2011

So as I am reading about and experiencing pregnancy symptoms (I am still early and therefore, the symptoms are still mild) I am coming to realize that cysters make the best preggos! Think about the most common symptoms and then think how bad they actually are...

1. Nausea: Ever had a bad infection? No appetite and wanting to barf usually accompanies these not so happy days. Or ever heard of Cipro, levequin, or Bactim? Basically a tune up is a nice two week stint of nausea and lack of appetite.  Oh and don't get me started on IVs... I have yet to experience pregnancy related nausea

2. Fatigue: Lung infection. Nuff said. I have experienced this, but it is way less drastic than fatigue that comes with a lung infection.

3. Constipation (cute I know): Most CFers that are pancreatic insufficient have had issues with their enzymes at least every once in a while. Maybe it doesn't lead to constipation, but we are no strangers to gastrointestinal issues. Heck, I went YEARS without enzymes before I was diagnosed. An uncomfy tummy is no stranger to me. Had this around week 4, but now back to normal.

4. Gas (even cuter!): Extra air whether it is burping or well.... usually comes along with some CF issues such as gastrointestinal issues or GERD so many of us are all too familiar with a little extra air. Burping up a storm on and off.

5. Having to pee a lot: Being on antibiotics makes me pee all the time because I drink so much more water. It even makes me pee at night. Last night I got up to pee 3 times the night before 0. On average I get up at least once, but it's for a much more fun reason than antibiotics.

There are a ton of other symptoms that come later and I will let you know if CF has equipped me well for those. For now I am enjoying every second of this pregnancy!

I have been reading pregnancy message boards for other June mom-to-bes and it is funny what people complain about! So many worry about gaining weight and their figures never being the same. Maybe having CF makes you realize that there are so many MORE important things than having a nice figure. I don't care if I look "fat" because my baby bloat just looks like a little extra lard at the moment. I don't care if my figure is destroyed by this little one and I will forever have to wear spanx and a push up bra. I don't care if I get stretch marks! I am having a BABY!!! Something I never thought possible and who cares what my body looks like because what a miracle that it could support another human life. Besides even with this major bloat gut I feel more beautiful now than I ever have in my life! For once my CF gut is serving a purpose and is bloated for a reason OTHER than CF. 

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

First Pregnant CF Appointment

So I went to the CF doc yesterday and felt 600lbs lifted off my shoulders.

I need to explain a misconception about pregnancy. You always hear and read that prenatal care is VITAL and you need to call your OB once you become pregnant to ensure that you are taking proper care of yourself and your baby yada, yada, yada. While this is important I learned that this isn't AS important early on. Let me explain. I found out I was pregnant and like anyone that works at a school was trying to call to get my first prenatal appointment during my breaks by sneaking into my car so nobody would overhear. Without fail I would be put on hold, my break would end, and I would hang up without an appointment. By Friday of that first week I was freaking out. I thought I was being a horrible mother by letting the 5th week slip by without so much as an appointment. From what I read through other CF pregnancy blogs, forums, etc people are getting their blood levels (betas?) checked early on to make sure they are increasing at a proper rate, and going into appointments and are being watched very carefully. Well, get this...if you aren't going though an infertility clinic nobody wants to take your blood to make sure your beta levels are okay and nobody really wants to see you till you are 8-11 weeks along. Uhhhh really? That is almost all the way though your 1st trimester. Crazy, but true.

Anyway getting off my tangent, I was relieved to just get a stupid appointment for ANYTHING just to make sure that something in my life was going okay so I was happy when I got into the CF clinic at 6 weeks. Well here is the run down of the day:

  • My weight remained the same which at this point is fine. 
  • My blood glucose seems fine, a little high on the normal side so gestational diabetes may come into play later, but for now they are pleased with my numbers.
  • My lung function went up 1% -YAY!!! 58% is my new high :)
  • I got a lot of congrats from everyone on the team.
  • I got my flu shot (100% safe during pregnancy) so I should stay flu free this season- yay!
  • Looked over my meds (even though I did this a while ago with my OB) and he suggested I get of Zithromax for the first trimester because it probably won't have a major impact in such a short amount of time. Funny thing is I stopped once I got the BFP anyway for that very reason. He also said to use the allergy pills and nasal spray as needed. Other than that all my other meds got the green light.
So my doc was so happy with my numbers! He even told me he is sure I will see 60% some time in my pregnancy!! That would be awesome! As he was leaving I asked him when I should come back next and he paused for a second and said he was so pleased with my numbers and how well I have been doing that I really don't need to come back for 2-3 months unless I start feeling differently. I am so relieved that everything on the CF front is going well and feel so much better knowing my doc is not really too worried about me. 

Monday, October 24, 2011

Little Body Vacation

It seems that so much of my life I have had to assist my body in working correctly. To digest food I have to provide my body with enzymes. To breath well I have hours of treatments. To ensure my body works properly I have to provide my body with extra vitamins. In order to keep my sinuses clear I have to do sinus rinses. My body is very dependent on me and I need to put a lot of work into it in order to ensure it is working correctly.

My bodies lack of independence makes me more in awe of this pregnancy than I could ever imagine. Somehow this needy body is doing something all on it's own without daily assistance from me. In fact, two weeks before I saw those 2 pink lines it was silently working without even a whisper of what was going on. After those 2 pink lines appeared I started to see or feel changes has made me feel an unimaginable amount of respect for a woman's body. It is too early to see many changes, but watching my breasts get larger and heavies is fascinating. My body is working everyday to allow me to nourish my baby when he/she arrives. It did not need a reminder or guidance, it simply knows what to do! Feeling the twinges of my ever expanding uterus reminds me that my body knows to make room for this miracle growing in me everyday. I am in complete awe of this body that has always given me so much grief (because of CF) and I now think women really are the superior sex :)

Sunday, October 23, 2011


October 13, 2011

I am a little tired today, but it could be due to the fact that when I wake up to pee (around 4:00) most mornings I cannot fall back asleep and so I am really lacking in the sleep department. Anyway, besides being a little tired I a new preggo symptom has found its way into my small pregnant body. Let me explain.

Yesterday I had a symptom free day. I wasn't tired, my chest wasn't sore, I was eating normally, and all was fine. Actually, all was not fine because these days scare the crap out of me. Having all preggo symptoms (which is very few for me at the moment) disappear makes me paranoid that something is wrong. Well, this morning I was glad to feel like my chest was 15 pounds heavier than yesterday although they don't look any bigger than yesterday they just FEEL like they are HUGE! So I woke up happy because my chest was telling me that I was indeed still preggo. Whew!

Then on my morning commute I got a huge scare! I was having chest pains. I was kinda freaking out thinking I was gonna have a heart attack. Okay, that is a little dramatic, but I was wondering what the heck was going on. So after several minutes of this chest pain I touch the part of my chest that hurts which was kinda central. I am not sure why i did this, but sometimes when you are in pain or worried you might die it is better to pretend to assess the situation and make a non medical prognosis. I somehow believed by touching my chest I could figure out what the pain was caused by. Well, guess what? Who needs med school because I totally diagnosed myself. As my hand gently touched my chest I almost yelped in pain. It was my chest as in the baby feeders growing ON my chest! Holy smokes they hurt by the lightest touch and I realized they were hurting simply by existing. So thankfully I am not having a heart attack and am simply getting ready to nourish a human life.

**Update: October 23rd. My baby feeders have calmed down in the pain category. I still have to give weird "far away hugs" so that my girls don't get squeezed, but at least they don't hurt all the time now. They are much bigger and kinda tingly now. I am not minding the bigger part of it, but kinda wondering how big they will be when the milk comes in though...yikes!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Holy Cramps

October 11, 2011

Here is a scary fun little piece of info for all those ttc...

Soon after I got my big beautiful positive while I was still switching between sheer elation and utter disbelief I started to get cramps! Just like PMS yucky cramps! This of course knocked me off cloud 9 and shot me into a state of panic. I quickly scoured the web for false positives, sure that I had somehow tested positive while my belly was actually barren. I soon found that false positives are almost non-existent. They are often a result of a chemical pregnancy and so the woman WAS pregnant, but may have lost the baby due to the cruelty of nature. I ruled that out because something was telling me that this just wasn't the case and I went on to search cramping and pregnancy.

Seems our lovely oh so little uterus knows a big old baby won't fit in it as is so it stretches and expands to make room for baby and blood makes its way over to our hard working uterus to give it an extra boost. This can feel like PMS cramps and can continue for quite some time. These are also PERFECTLY normal as long as there is no bleeding or the pain isn't really really strong. So a very relieved me continued my feelings of elation and shock for the rest of the day. These cramps have yet to stop, but are VERY mild and are more of a strange sensation rather than pain or discomfort. So if you get your BFP and feel some mild cramps don't panic it may be your body making was for baby.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Telling My Husband He Is Going to be a Dad

I woke up Saturday morning on October 8th knowing I was going to test as my period was one day late. I decided this month that I would not test earlier than one day after my period because getting my hopes up and having the excuse that the lines might appear tomorrow was getting too hard. I wanted a definite yes or no!

My husband had already left for work, but I did not expect a positive so I made my way to the bathroom with a very full bladder and pulled out a pregnancy stick. I was really calm and trying not to get my hopes up. As I capped the pregnancy test waiting for the results on the counter I held my breath. Within a blink of an eye both lines turned dark pink, VERY dark pink. I knew within 30 seconds of taking a test that it was positive. The feeling that came over me was not at all what I expected. All those months and even years of dreaming of having a positive pregnancy test seemed to disappear and it seemed that this was so meant to be. I stared at the test saying, "I am pregnant, I am pregnant!!!" The realization seemed less shocking than I expected. I have always expected pure shock at a positive test, but it was as if my whole entire life was building up to this perfect moment and that there was not an ounce of my soul that didn't believe that this was the perfect timing to become pregnant. I think I must have known in my heart that today would be the day that I would officially become a mommy. Within another blink of an eye I was feeling so much elation and excitement. THIS was the moment I have wanted my whole entire life and here it is on this very day. Relief washed over me with the realization that my waiting game was finally over.

It took every ounce of self control not to shout the news through the neighborhood and not to run up to my husband's work to tell him. This joy and excitement was more than I could handle by myself. I found myself touching my stomach and realizing that this was the very first secret my baby and I would ever share. I knew of my babies existence before anyone else in this world and there was some comfort in knowing that the two of us were in this together.

As I waited for his arrival I put the pregnancy test into a wrapped box and waited with excitement for my husband to realize that he was going to be a daddy. All day I couldn't stop thinking about how this was such an incredibly bonding event even with him at work. Nothing we will ever do in our lives will ever come close to creating another soul to walk this earth. No job offers, promotions, or other achievements will ever come close to our creating a baby. How magical it is to create another being!!

I instantly started wondering if the baby would be a boy or a girl, what color hair and eyes the baby would have? Will the baby have curly hair like my husband and poker straight hair like me? Will the babies first work be in English or Spanish (we are going to raise the baby bilingual as Spanish was my husband's first language), will the baby be good at Math like my husband or artistic like me? A million questions ran through my mind.

I couldn't leave the house because I wanted to be home the second my husband arrived. I ignored the errands and skipped the chores. All I could do was anxiously wait. He wanted this so bad and I was going to tell him his dreams came true today!!

His car pulled up and I couldn't help it. I whipped open the door and shouted that I had a present for him. He smiled ear to ear because who doesn't love a surprise present? He came in and kissed me and asked what the present was for. I made him sit on the first seat by the door, and thrusted the gift in his face. I was so excited I was worried I would blab the news before he opened the box. I sat at his feet as he carefully opened the box and peeked inside. He stared for a moment processing what was going on. "What is it?" he asked before I could see in his eyes that he knew exactly what it was. "You're pregnant?" he almost shouted as my eyes filled up with tears. He grabbed me and pulled me to him saying he couldn't believe I was pregnant. The he started talking a mile a minute do you want a boy or girl, I can't believe it, you're pregnant, we really did it. This moment to me was so much more monumental than any other moment in my entire life. Even more touching and sacred than our wedding because this was something we made out of the love that came from our wedding, this was ALL our dreams coming true.

My husband works a double on Saturdays and so soon after the announcement he had to get ready for work. We went into the bedroom where he pulled out clothes for his next shift. He was walking in circles and talking in circles too, still grinning as wide as he could. He stopped, looked at me and said, "I am so excited I think I am going crazy!" He wouldn't let me leave his side. I even sat on the floor while he took a shower so we could be together until he had to leave to work. he kept saying he wanted to call in sick because he wanted to stay with me. Of course he had to go to work and so when he kissed me goodbye and I shut the door I knew that for the first time I was not alone while my husband was at work because I had my little baby growing inside me.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

First Symptoms

October 10, 2011

I think I read EVERY article in the world about early pregnancy symptoms. I have discouraging news to report. If I wasn't trying for a baby and waiting for my period, if I didn't have a + pregnancy test, AND if I wasn't ubber in tune with my body there is no way that even at this point I would know I was pregnant. My early pregnancy symptoms were much more mild than any PMS symptom have been. With that being said if I were to decide to have a second (due to CF I probably won't) I would still research ever symptoms ever known to exist so I will tell you the ones I experienced.

1. The very first thing I noticed that seemed off was that I could not stop burping -super sexy! It was SO excessive!!! I would eat/drink water or an ensure or ANYTHING and I would feel like I chugged 4 cans of soda in 3 seconds flat! I spent most of my day trying to release this air as silently as possible. The burps could not be ignored or swallowed because I had a herculean amount of air sitting in my throat waiting to escape! I could NOT simply keep it in. I managed to do very well at silently releasing them when at work, but often at home I was less careful to the mild disgust of my husband. This lasted from about conception until a day or two after I tested positive.

~I did not think of this as a preggo sign because as I did research on excessive burping I found it is a symptom of GERD. I thought it was just a new fun friend of CF making its way into my life. Happy to say that although GERD and excessive gas is a pregnancy symptom (for any preggo woman) the burping has stopped and I have yet to experience heartburn.

2. VERY VERY mildy sore boobies: It felt 10x less severe than my normal PMS sore boobies. The only weird thing about my soreness is that it seemed to be higher as in my (nonexistent) cleavage area. They continue to feel sore and a little more each day, but mainly they feel heavy. Although they don't look much different to me they feel about 15lbs each when I don't have a bra on, but it took several days to build up to that extreme.

3. I felt really really warm before testing. I have no idea if this is a early pregnancy sign, but with increased bbt it makes sense to me.

These were my only symptoms pre + preggo test! Seriously that was it!!! No tiredness, no morning sickness, no real indication of what was going on inside my body at all. Now I only waited till I was 1 day late to test so maybe if I waited a few weeks I would have more, but who waits that long when ttc???

It Is Show Time!!!!!!!!

So I have been quiet lately because I have been super busy, but there is another reason I have been extra quiet that I didn't tell anyone about. October 8th, 2011 I found out through two little pink lines that my biggest dream is coming true! I believe I am a little over 5 weeks pregnant and yet I am still in so much shock that only occasionally does it seem real. I am full of so many emotions ranging from sheer elation to fear to uncertainty, but mainly I feel disbelief! I have not blogged about it yet because I wanted to tell my family first before telling the blog world. For so long I have planned, exercised, dieted (the high fat kind), and prepared for this moment and it is finally here! No more rehearsals or preparations it is officially show time!

I know it is early and getting pregnant does not guarantee that you will have a baby, but I am so hopeful that this little one will make it through all 9 months and be in my arms this June. I was afraid to post in fear of jinxing my pregnancy or in case things did not work out and I would have to talk about loss, but this blog is about my pregnancy journey and so that means the good with the bad and everything between.

I know this subject is painful for some people. I know first hand how hard it is to be happy for others when they have something you want so very badly. I know the next 9 months will be full of posts about baby/pregnancy/CF so I understand if it is too hard to read. I want to write about every doctors appointment, fear, and victory during the journey and hope it will be of good use to someone out there. This will be my version of "What to Expect When Your Expecting -CF Style." Feel free to ask my questions either that you want me to answer or that you want me to ask my doctors.

I have backlogged half a dozen blog posts from the moment I found out until today so I will be posting them very shortly. I put the correct date at the top of the entry so that they will make some sort of sense and stay in order. Please send prayers, good vibes, or positive energy this way because my baby and I will need it!

My Facebook cysters, please do not say anythign as I have only told my immediate family and few close friends. I am keeping this baby a secret until 14 weeks. Thanks :)

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Cayston Forever?

So this last round of Cayston was such a crazy experience. I started it a little early as I was sick and on antibiotics and during the duration of one week I coughed out 5, yes 5 very large and old nasty plugs in 7 days! I even had a fever for a bit before coughing 2 of them out. It was like clockwork. Got a little fever, did my treatments, coughed a plug, fever disappeared. I know the antibiotics must have helped bring up the plugs, but I really wasn't that sick. I got a cold and lost my voice, slept all day, and was back at work the next day. After 27 years (13 knowing about my CF) I have come to learn that no cold of mine disappears without giving my lungs a visit so I immediately go on orals.  So even though I was on orals I was still shocked that I pulled so many plugs when I don't feel like my lungs ever got too bad.

With that being said my Cayston run is over and I am nervous about stopping. I can't use Colistin or Tobi so I really only have Cayston to keep my bacteria at bay. My doctor mentioned staying on Cayston all the time when I started to show problems with Colistin, but we haven't discussed it further. Seeing how many plugs (not just this month although this month wins, but all months when I start Cayston) I am really considering going on it full time. I am not too worried about resistance because if I don't take care of my lungs now I won't live long enough to become resistant to any meds anyway. At this point, I am not resistant to any meds (one perk of  late diagnosis) and figure with the upcoming inhaled Levequin and Cipro I will have several options in the future. Has anyone else ever been on the same med every month or heard of someone doing this? I am going to talk to my doc about it Monday and will let you now what he says. For now I miss my cayston :(

Monday, October 10, 2011

Quiet Lately

I know I haven't blogged in a few days which is weird for me. I actually miss it because blogging is a huge outlet for me. I have several blog entries started, but have yet to finish them so some rapid fire blogs will be coming soon.

I am a little busier than usual as I got a tutoring gig. I started this week and it is 5 days a week after school with a really fun 5th grader. She just moved to town and although she is super smart she needs help with motivation. She is awesome and I really like working with her! Kids are always fun and easier when it is one on one. I am a little worried that it is making me have a longer day which gets me on the road later which means more traffic. I am concerned that it is running into treatment/gym time, BUT it is great money. Originally I was going to tutor an hour a day each school day for $500/month. Now she may need 1/2 more each day which means I would have $750/month! Talk about good money!! It is also almost stress free. We sit in a quiet library, do her homework, study her spelling words, and that is it!! So much easier than my normal job and the money isn't too shabby!

Once I get my new routine down I think I will blog a lot more. I am  a creature of routine/habit and when my routine changes I need a few days to adjust in order to be productive again!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Charting, ttc, and that sort of fun stuff.

I started charting this month and now that I got the hang of it it really isn't so bad. The month started off rough in that I would forget to take a temp until AFTER I showered or I would forget to place the thermometer by my bed and would have to run around looking for it before I took my temp. Basically, I was the worst charter ever! I decided that even if the temp couldn't count (such as after a shower) I would still take my temp to get in the habit. I finally go tthe hang of it after a few CRAZY days. Despite my craziness I did learn a few things about my cycles! First, I used to count the length of my cycle after my period ended. Yeah, this is wrong. You are supposed to start counting on the first day of your period. Hmm well, live and learn and learn that your cycles are very long! Second, besides having long cycles I do ovulate as I saw a clear temp shift that has remained high since. Lastly, all the signs I thought my body was giving me when I thought I was ovulating were true! Woohoo. My body is a pretty "loud" ovulator. I get everything from ewcm to ovulation cramps, but never knew if I was actually ovulating or it my body was pretending to ovulate. So now that I know I am ovulating (or at least ovulated this month) I can rule that out as a "challenge" towards ttc.

There is another challenge that CF women ttc can face and so I also wanted to discuss the use of Mucinex. This is tmi for any non CFer ttc so you can skip this section if you so choose. I started taking Mucinex twice a day from the beginning of my cycle. CFers are supposed to have thicker mucus everywhere and I mean everywhere (if you get my drift) and Mucinex is supposed to thin this mucus out which makes ttc easier. My doc gave me the approval to use it, but told me not to expect much as it may be pointless. Well, I beg to differ. I know the placebo effect could very likely be the reason for the change, but I really saw a significant difference in my ewcm! It was text book and much more..uhh lets say abundant than in the past! I really believe that it made a significant difference for me and so I will continue to use it every month!! Anyone else notice a difference after using Mucinex?

Sunday, October 2, 2011

A CF Mommy Gets Her Wings

Hearts shattered all over the CF world at the news of Nicole's death. She was only 27 years old and excitedly pregnant with her first child, a son. More than halfway through her pregnancy she experience a severe lung bleed that landed her in the hospital. The bleeding was stopped, only to return again. Sadly, CF reared its ugly head and took Nicole's life as well as the life of her unborn son. This disease is horrendous and needs to become a thing of the past. No more lives should be destroyed from this disease and nobody should endure the pain that Nicole's family has had to endure. A fellow cyster set up a fundraising page to raise money in honor of Nicole. The money will go towards the CF Trust. The UK has been working on promising gene therapy that has been halted due to a lack of funds. If the enough money isn't raised by the end of October the gene therapy research and trials will end. As a way to honor Nicole we are asking for donations to aid in making CF stand for Cure Found. The CF Trust is based in the UK, but discoveries made anywhere in the world effect CFers ALL over the world. US citizens can of course donate, but keep in mind the exchange rate when making a donation. Check out the memorial site here!

Friday, September 30, 2011

Best Day Ever

So I had pretty much the best day ever. Well, not ever ever, but pretty close.  Let me start by saying that yesterday a teacher from our school was out and there was a sub. I am in her room for a few hours a day and being in the room with a sub it made me miss subbing.I like my job, but there is something about being in charge of 32 kids that is just so FUN! So I was talking to the sub and she has been trying to get a teaching job for 4 years now!! WHAT?! That is crazy. Anyway, at the end of the day I was feeling bummed because I missed subbing and wished I could get benefits by being a sub. Well, you can't so I was bummed for the ride home and then moved on with life.

Today I showed up to work (wearing my favorite outfit, mind you) and about 30 minutes into the day my supervisor rushes in and says that a sub didn't show up and I needed to teach a class for them. I am one of two credentialed  paras so they decided to use me as the sub. I was excited because I LOVE teaching, but was sad because the class I was working with was putting on the play they had been practicing and I was going to miss it. Of course I said yes to subbing because I would never turn down anything that might win me brownie points and I love teaching. So I wrote quick sub notes for the person that would be filling in for me and rushed to the 4th grade wing. Nothing spectacular happened and the kids were pretty average kids as far as behavior, but OMG I was having a blast. By the end of the day when the kids left I had SO much energy! I was on a teaching high which is way better that any runners high. It renewed my belief that teaching is my calling even if the economy sucks and there are no jobs. I can't think of anything more fun. One of the kids even came up to me at the end of the day and said I was funner (I tried not to cringe at the use of the word funner) than any other sub in all of history! The kids were well behaved we all liked each other and I just wish more than anything that I could do that everyday!

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Sleeping Through the Night Again

I just finished my two week course of the cipro/bactrim (or was it levequin/bac I never pay attention anymore) and I am grateful for one main reason. Sure getting better is nice, and not having to take a pill saves me 12 seconds a day, but these are not the best parts of being antibiotic free. There is something much better than all of these combined...not waking up in the middle of the night to pee!!! Since I take the pills when I wake up and then again before bed I always end up drinking a full glass of water before bed. A full glass of water before bed = waking up at 4 in the morning to empty a really full bladder. I am usually a really nice and easy going person, but don't mess with my sleep. Just ask my husband when he snores, it is not pretty. And besides how do you get better without a full nights sleep? So I am happy to say that I can now sleep my full 7 or 8 hours a night without bladder interruptions.

And for all you people rolling your eyes and thinking, "Well, why the heck doesn't she take her pills earlier int he evening and avoid the whole problem?" I know. Sounds dumb but unless I take take pills first thing in the morning, with meals, or at bedtime I will never remember them. I am now off to a restful night of zzz's.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Beads of Hope

My amazingly supportive little sister started making bracelets in order to help raise money for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. They are super cute and she puts a lot of love into each one. If you want a fun way to support CF and get a cute bracelet out of the deal check out my sister's etsy site here!!!! Go to her profile on the site to read about why she is doing this.

P.S. Can you tell which hand is mine in the heart?? I will give you a clue- there is some clubbing going on.

**Upon further investigation you can't see a close up of our hands from that link, but you can from this one! Although the first link gives you a better view of the bracelets and the cute Beads of Hope title she made.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

How far along are you?

So I have the infamous CF belly. It is probably the strangest part of CF which is saying a lot because there are a LOT of weird things that come with CF. The CF belly is greatly highlighted by the CFers tiny slender arms, our fat free legs and thighs (also known as chicken legs or as my husband lovingly calls them frog legs) and our slender frame. It is just so random to have a round belly among all these skinny little extremities. The other fascinating part of the CF belly is that it seems to come and go without rhyme nor reason. There may be a day that all seems right in the world with my CF body: no problems with my gut, nothing unusual eaten, and no forgotten enzymes and YET my CF belly will be full force. In fact this happened on Thursday. As each hour passed my belly seemed to pouch a little bit more. By the evening I was sitting on the couch and looking at my beer belly. I called hubster over and asked had him check it out. We both laughed at how huge my stomach looked. Today, flat as a pancake. Huh? With my new enzymes I never really have bad gut days and can't remember the last time I felt gassy or bloated and yet my CF belly still finds days when it is all too visible. And so I share with you, cysters, my not so dear friend: The CF belly.

BTW it was REALLY hard to find pics of the belly. With digital cameras I just push delete if I look hugely pregnant. Also, usually when I am getting my picture taken I do the suck in :)

Here is a great example. Skinny arms and legs, but what is that little baby bump doing!? Thank god I am not a celebrity, I would be all over the tabloids as pregnant EVERY month.

Okay, here is a doozy! The worst CF belly pic I have. I am even embarrassed to post it, but hell here it is anyway!

I totally look like a have a giant beer belly or I am immensely pregnant! I just love how it starts all the way under my girls at my rib cage. Like how does that happen it isn't even considered the stomach area?! Luckily, my belly does not usually look like this, but on random off days when my belly decides to grow into an unsightly beast this is what I am left with.  

I am pretty sure this is what my belly looked like on Thursday when my husband and I were laughing at my CF bump. It is actually worse when I sit down because it seems to sit on top of my pants making it appear even larger.

And I learned the hard way that you can't work out until the belly is gone because it has nothing to do with stomach muscles or body fat. Besides CFers have the strongest belly muscles around from our daily coughing workout. So for now I will simply have to enjoy my good belly days and on the bad belly days I will simply enjoy people going out of their way to help the pregnant lady.

Here are some beautiful cysters who are also willing to share their CF belly with the CF world! Seriously, we are all beautiful, belly and all!

  • Colleen from *Live*Laugh*Love*Breath posted about hers here.
  • Megan from Breathing Deeply, Laughing Loudly, and Living Fully posted about hers (and a great idea for buying pants with a CF belly) here

Feel free (if you are as crazy as me) to blog your CF belly and I will link you to my post.