I woke up Saturday morning on October 8th knowing I was going to test as my period was one day late. I decided this month that I would not test earlier than one day after my period because getting my hopes up and having the excuse that the lines might appear tomorrow was getting too hard. I wanted a definite yes or no!
My husband had already left for work, but I did not expect a positive so I made my way to the bathroom with a very full bladder and pulled out a pregnancy stick. I was really calm and trying not to get my hopes up. As I capped the pregnancy test waiting for the results on the counter I held my breath. Within a blink of an eye both lines turned dark pink, VERY dark pink. I knew within 30 seconds of taking a test that it was positive. The feeling that came over me was not at all what I expected. All those months and even years of dreaming of having a positive pregnancy test seemed to disappear and it seemed that this was so meant to be. I stared at the test saying, "I am pregnant, I am pregnant!!!" The realization seemed less shocking than I expected. I have always expected pure shock at a positive test, but it was as if my whole entire life was building up to this perfect moment and that there was not an ounce of my soul that didn't believe that this was the perfect timing to become pregnant. I think I must have known in my heart that today would be the day that I would officially become a mommy. Within another blink of an eye I was feeling so much elation and excitement. THIS was the moment I have wanted my whole entire life and here it is on this very day. Relief washed over me with the realization that my waiting game was finally over.
It took every ounce of self control not to shout the news through the neighborhood and not to run up to my husband's work to tell him. This joy and excitement was more than I could handle by myself. I found myself touching my stomach and realizing that this was the very first secret my baby and I would ever share. I knew of my babies existence before anyone else in this world and there was some comfort in knowing that the two of us were in this together.
As I waited for his arrival I put the pregnancy test into a wrapped box and waited with excitement for my husband to realize that he was going to be a daddy. All day I couldn't stop thinking about how this was such an incredibly bonding event even with him at work. Nothing we will ever do in our lives will ever come close to creating another soul to walk this earth. No job offers, promotions, or other achievements will ever come close to our creating a baby. How magical it is to create another being!!
I instantly started wondering if the baby would be a boy or a girl, what color hair and eyes the baby would have? Will the baby have curly hair like my husband and poker straight hair like me? Will the babies first work be in English or Spanish (we are going to raise the baby bilingual as Spanish was my husband's first language), will the baby be good at Math like my husband or artistic like me? A million questions ran through my mind.
I couldn't leave the house because I wanted to be home the second my husband arrived. I ignored the errands and skipped the chores. All I could do was anxiously wait. He wanted this so bad and I was going to tell him his dreams came true today!!
His car pulled up and I couldn't help it. I whipped open the door and shouted that I had a present for him. He smiled ear to ear because who doesn't love a surprise present? He came in and kissed me and asked what the present was for. I made him sit on the first seat by the door, and thrusted the gift in his face. I was so excited I was worried I would blab the news before he opened the box. I sat at his feet as he carefully opened the box and peeked inside. He stared for a moment processing what was going on. "What is it?" he asked before I could see in his eyes that he knew exactly what it was. "You're pregnant?" he almost shouted as my eyes filled up with tears. He grabbed me and pulled me to him saying he couldn't believe I was pregnant. The he started talking a mile a minute do you want a boy or girl, I can't believe it, you're pregnant, we really did it. This moment to me was so much more monumental than any other moment in my entire life. Even more touching and sacred than our wedding because this was something we made out of the love that came from our wedding, this was ALL our dreams coming true.
My husband works a double on Saturdays and so soon after the announcement he had to get ready for work. We went into the bedroom where he pulled out clothes for his next shift. He was walking in circles and talking in circles too, still grinning as wide as he could. He stopped, looked at me and said, "I am so excited I think I am going crazy!" He wouldn't let me leave his side. I even sat on the floor while he took a shower so we could be together until he had to leave to work. he kept saying he wanted to call in sick because he wanted to stay with me. Of course he had to go to work and so when he kissed me goodbye and I shut the door I knew that for the first time I was not alone while my husband was at work because I had my little baby growing inside me.