Friday, December 30, 2016

Kaylee Chatter Part 2

  • "I am so cold right now I wish someone would pour 100 hot chocolates all over my body right now."
  • Kaylee still says aminal and knows she says it wrong, but can't figure out how to say it correctly. "Mom, why do I still say aminal wrong. When I was one it wasn't surprising I would say words like aminal wrong, but by three saying aminal instead of the right way is very surprising!" I love how she says aminal and will be sad when she finally figures out the correct way to say it.
  • "Mom, before the earth existed where were all the mommies and babies?"
    "That is a great question!"
    "Babies come from mommies bellies, but if there were no mommies, where were the babies? Like, was there just a wood floor with babies rolling around before mommies existed? I just don't get where they came from"
    Stalling to get my thoughts together, "Umm, yeah, well...."
    "Is it hard to explain, mom?"
    "No, it is just that I don't know the answer."
    "Like I thought they might be in the dirt with the worms, but wait, dirt didn't even exist."
    "Baby, that is a great question, but we don't really have the answer to those questions."
    "Maybe somebody else knows... maybe we can look it up on the internet"

    Maybe, Google can answer our existential questions... if only it were that easy!

Thursday, December 29, 2016

Urgent Care on the Eve of Christmas Eve

My pre-Christmas saga started Thursday morning when I woke up feeling extremely bloated. CF has not been kind to my lungs, but I have been extremely lucky in that it really doesn't effect my digestive system unless I forget my enzymes. So when I woke up super bloated the day of Kaylee's preschool Christmas party (I will do a Christmas post soon) I was less than excited that the one time my digestive system decided to act up was when I had to be out of the home all day.

As the day went on the bloating became more severe and I started to have pain in my lower right side. That evening I started running a low grade fever. I went to bed with a warm rice pack and looked to the worst doctor in history, Doctor Google. Dr Google concluded that I would not be around long enough to see the light of the next day. Figures, that is his answer to everything.

Luckily, the internet doctor was wrong and I did, in fact, wake up the next morning. Unfortunately, the pain seemed worse and started to wrap around to my back. I decided to call my doctors office because I started to suspect this wasn't just bloating pain. I wanted to be seen before the weekend (which just happened to be Christmas weekend) in case things got worse. Unfortunately, everywhere was closed due to it being the Friday before Christmas. So I figured I would call the on-call nurse, which I should know by now, is as bad as Dr. Google. She told me to cease all liquids and food and get to the emergency room as soon as possible since I probably had appendicitis. I tried to inquire about an urgent care instead, but she insisted that I go to the ER because urgent care wouldn't be equipped to handle my appendicitis. So, I did the opposite of her advice and went to urgent care instead (I was pretty positive I did not have appendicitis).

Urgent care doctors know nothing about CF and I was pretty sure they would not diagnosis me correctly, but I did want to confirm I didn't have appendicitis and I was a little concerned I may have a kidney infection (or something similar) that would require antibiotics. The urgent care doc came in with an internet printout of CF digestive issues. She ruled out appendicitis and decided it was either DIOS (a blockage in the intestines which can be a CF problem) or kidney stones. I knew I did not have DIOS (although a partial blockage was a realistic possibility) and I was not convinced of kidney stones. However, I knew I would make it through Christmas and so I went home relieved that whatever was ailing me wouldn't kill me!

The Monday after Christmas I got a phone call from urgent care telling me that my results came back and I had a bladder infection (I assume the bloating may have been a untimely coincidence and had nothing to do with the infection which was causing the pain). I got a prescription for antibiotics and within a few days I felt good as new. Whew, I never realized how fast antibiotics work for non-CF issues. My bladder infection took about 24 hours before my symptoms disappeared which seemed miraculous since I am used to two weeks or longer for my lungs to respond to antibiotics.

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

4 and a half

Dear Kaylee,
There was a time, not so long ago, when I would lay in bed while rubbing my belly that kept you safe and warm and I would picture being your mother. I could easily picture myself mothering baby Kaylee, but for some reason I could not get my mind to move on past infancy. Rocking, soothing, nursing was something I would imagine daily, but being a mother to a walking, talking, school aged child was beyond my scope at the time. With you still nestled in my belly, it was hard to see so far ahead and in reality, I had no idea what it meant to be a mother at the time. I didn't have the experience to really know what motherhood entailed.

Fast forward 4.5 years later and I have to admit, that each year of mothering I feel my love for you grow (how is that even possible?!) and I love my job as your mother more and more. Now, I can easily picture mothering you all through your school years and even mothering you when you're a mother yourself. Sure, I still have no idea what I am in for when it comes to raising a teenager, but you are no longer this mystery tucked away below my ribcage. You are my daughter and watching you grow is the biggest gift I have ever been given.

I brought you out to dinner last night, just the girls, and when I told you that you were officially 4.5 your eyes grew big, "I am 4.5? I always thought that meant you were a grown up, but I am not even a teenager yet!" You said with some surprise and a lot of enthusiasm. So how can I sum you up as a 4.5 year old? I think the best way to describe you is my mini me. You and I are two peas in a pod! We like to do all the same activities and we absolutely adore spending time together. You share my animated (and dramatic) way of talking, my love for baking, crafting, and being creative. You are sensitive to others (and very sensitive to what you watch on TV/movies. If your anything like me you will have to check ratings for the rest of your life, sorry love) and love to shower the people you care about with love. You take your time making friends and you prefer a few close friends. You are also a home body which you absolutely got from me!

Of course, you are your own person too! You have a love for chocolate that I will never fully understand. You are so inquisitive and smart. You are so observant and take in so much of your surroundings. Your daddy and I worry that this may be the last Christmas you believe in Santa because you are so logical that you already have doubts about a man that can make it all across the world in one night and you don't understand how he can fit in a chimney. You are a touch of a hoarder which makes me cringe! I often find you digging in the recycling bin (and occasionally the garbage) to find things for your art. You find something to bring home everywhere we go to add to your collection of junk that will become art: a receipt from Costco, a leaf, a stick. I on the other hand, despise clutter and have to find times to declutter your art corner for my own sanity!

I know as you get older you will slowly drift away from me as you find yourself and who you want to become. For now, I am basking in the fact that you love spending time with me and you are my buddy wherever we go. Life is such a wild journey, but I know no matter what I am so very blessed to have you as part of my ride!