Kaylee Chatter Part 11

Kaylee and I were talking about her upcoming 7th birthday.
K in an exasperated voice, "I have lived a loooooooooong time."

Me: "Sorry it smells smokey in here. There was something that dripped on the bottom of the oven"
K: "I like the smell. It kinda represents us as a family."
Uhhhh….

Kaylee sleeps with one of my childhood stuffed animals.
Kay, " Whenever I miss you at night I just think to myself I have her in my arms (meaning my old stuffed animal)"

Kaylee Chatter Part 10

Kaylee was laying on the living room floor reading.
"Mom, this book has bald words in it!"
"What are bald words?"
"You know...BALD words!"
"Can you give me an example because I am not sure I do know."
"The words you see when your reading and you know you can find them in the glossary."
"Oh, YES! I do know what bold words are."


"Save the last for best! I learned that in school."


This one wasn't from Kaylee, but was funny nonetheless.
Kaylee had a cold and was losing her voice.
J (a kid at school): "Kaylee, what happened to your voice?"
K: "I am getting sick"
J: "Oh, you kinda sound like your mom."
Good old CF voice :)

Kaylee Chatter Part 9

I have been so bad at writing down all the funny things Kay says, but here are a few I managed to get on paper.

Kaylee has a boy in her class with Type 1 diabetes. His mom came in to bring awareness to diabetes and explain to the kids what he does to care for his health. A month or so later Kay was asking why people get diabetes. After a quick explanation I then added:
"just like Mason in your class."
Kaylee: "No, Mason doesn't have diabetes he has diabetes awareness!"

After seeing a weathervane on someone's roof,
"Look!! East, South, West, and .....New York!"

"When I grow up I want to have a baby girl. If I have a boys I am going to pass them around to people that want a baby, but don't know how." (yikes!)

Kaylee Chatter Part 8

"Some kids in school try to smack flies that get in the class. My friend says she kills them sometimes. She calls it kill! That is really bad for the flies. I guess kids just don't know how bad that is for the flies. They are only five (years old) so they just don't know."

My childhood stuffed animal has become one of Kaylee's favorites. She brought the stuffed animal  along for her flu shot. That evening she told me,
"Kitty helped me be brave. Maybe because she has a little mommy love in it."

My husband: "I love you."
Kaylee: "I know. I just don't think about it all the time. Like I don't spend all day thinking about how much my parents love me. That's just not my lifestyle."

When Kaylee started school I bought us matching school shirts. I volunteer once a week and usually just put on the school shirt because otherwise when would I wear it? Last week I was getting dressed when Kaylee walked in.
"You're wearing that shirt again? That is so embarrassing for me! I mean you have good quality clothes you could wear. You don't have to wear that shirt everyday."

Kaylee Chatter Part 7

"I used to think if we drove at midnight we would be the first people on the road. After we went to the wedding (we drove through the night) now I know that isn't true because there are always cars driving on the road!"


K: "Look there is a gas station right by Nana's house. Why didn't we go to this one?"
M: "We go to the other one because the gas is a lot cheaper."
...
K: "If we had too much money we would have to look for the most expensive gas station. Then when we paid we would be like, whew I am so glad we got rid of some of our money!"


K: "When we eat chicken how do they make it not move?"
M: (hoping she wasn't asking what I knew she was asking) "What do you mean?"
K: "Like the chicken we eat doesn't look like a normal chicken and it doesn't move. How do they do they get it to not move around our plate?"
(My kid cried when a bug dies...I didn't have the heart to tell her they kill chickens so she can eat them so I took the easy way out)
M: "Uh, hmm. That is a great question. Maybe ask your dad when he gets home from work."


My husband was holding Kaylee and walked by our bathroom mirror
K: "Wow!! That is the first time I have seen my whole body. Look!!"
We don't have a full length mirror and so I guess she hasn't really seen her whole self in oh 5 years or so.


K: (she came into my room in the morning and came to snuggle a bit before starting the day. My husband didn't budge and just happened to be snoring that morning. She was so still I thought she had fallen asleep. Suddenly she popped up, "Wow, daddy sounds just like a cow!!"
She was so right, he sounded identical to a very noisy cow!!

Kaylee Chatter Part 6

K soon after turning 5: "I have to go dating now that I am a grown up"
Me: "who are you going on a date with?"
Kay: "My mother and father, of course!! We are going dancing."
Me (internally): "whew"


Kay: "It is more common for people to have freckles on their neck."
Me: "Is it? I never noticed before."
Kay: "Yeah, it is the most legal way to have freckles."
Me: ...


Kay: "Look there is a hiddiup parking spot!"
Me: "What?"
Kay: A hiddiup spot... see"
Me: :Oh yes, that is a handicap parking spot!"


After seeing someone with a crop top:
Kay: "I think those shirts are people with a baby in their belly so their baby can get some fresh air."


My status as the only person in the world she can picture marrying has dropped down a notch:
Kay: "I am going to marry you someday.... unless I find someone better.

Kaylee Chatter Part 5

K: "Ian said a really bad word at school today?"
M: "What did he say?"
K: "I can't say it was too horrible!"
M: "Can you start to sound it out?"
K: "C-r. I just can't say it."
M: "Did he say crap?"
K: "No worse!" *Note to self do not teach your kid bad words they didn't already know*
M: "Sorry, keep sounding it out." I was super curious at this point!
K: "C-r-i-s-s C-r-o-s-s, but then he didn't say applesauce."
M: "What did he say instead of apple sauce?"
K whispering: "Criss cross booty sauce. And he was in PUBLIC! He said that in PUBLIC!"


After being at the DMV for two hour Kaylee and I still had a long ride home. I spent some of the car ride complimenting her on how patient and well behaved she was during our long and boring wait. When I was done she said,
"So basically you are telling me to go away and you don't want to be my mom anymore?"
At first I panicked thinking she completely misunderstood what I was telling her. I then looked in the rearview mirror to see her laughing. It was her first really sarcastic joke and we both had a good laugh at both her joke and the fact that I didn't realize it was a joke at first!


"When the first baby dinosaur was born who took care of it because it didn't have a mommy?"

Kaylee Chatter Part 4

Kaylee woke me up one morning and I was having such a hard time getting out of bed. Kaylee was standing next to me scolding, "Don't be dramatic, just get up!"

She sometimes confuses or combines words. My current favorite is "disastrophe".

"Was everything, like pictures, only in black and white when you were a kid?" Hey, I am only 32!!

"When the very first baby dinosaur was born who too care of it because it didn't have a mommy?"

Kaylee loves wearing my clothes, my jewelry, my shoes, basically anything that belongs to me she wants to wear. One day she came out in a dress she owns that looks just like one I own plus some of my jewelry, "Abra Cadabra, I am mommy!"

Kaylee Chatter Part 3

Kaylee dumped out a box of small wooden whales and shouted, "Woah, there are whales ga-lord!" (galore)

My husband was doing something that Kaylee was not a fan of (I can't remember what it was) and she was giving him the evil eye and said, "I am judging my father right now!"

Kaylee's grandma on my husband's side always tells her, "suena con los angelitos" meaning "dream with the angels" or basically, sweet dreams. So the other day before bed Kaylee shouted, "Suena
con los burros!" to my husband meaning "dream with the donkeys."

"Mommy, I love you more than anyone in the world. I want to marry you because I couldn't love any wife more than you." I have to write these things down so when she is 16 and finds me the most annoying/humiliating person alive and I can fondly remember the days she was obsessed with me!

Kaylee Chatter Part 2

• "I am so cold right now I wish someone would pour 100 hot chocolates all over my body right now."
• Kaylee still says aminal and knows she says it wrong, but can't figure out how to say it correctly. "Mom, why do I still say aminal wrong. When I was one it wasn't surprising I would say words like aminal wrong, but by three saying aminal instead of the right way is very surprising!" I love how she says aminal and will be sad when she finally figures out the correct way to say it.
• "Mom, before the earth existed where were all the mommies and babies?"
  "That is a great question!"
  "Babies come from mommies bellies, but if there were no mommies, where were the babies? Like, was there just a wood floor with babies rolling around before mommies existed? I just don't get where they came from"
  Stalling to get my thoughts together, "Umm, yeah, well...."
  "Is it hard to explain, mom?"
  "No, it is just that I don't know the answer."
  "Like I thought they might be in the dirt with the worms, but wait, dirt didn't even exist."
  "Baby, that is a great question, but we don't really have the answer to those questions."
  "Maybe somebody else knows... maybe we can look it up on the internet"
  
  Maybe, Google can answer our existential questions... if only it were that easy!

Kaylee Chatter

Now that Kaylee is four I figured she could graduate from "toddler talk" to "Kaylee Chatter." Same idea, but with the new age comes a new name!

Kaylee came to me pointing to part of her collarbone, "I found my port! I kept looking for it and I finally found it!"

We were driving home and Kaylee was getting antsy with the long ride. I could hear her mumbling and grumbling, but couldn't tell what she actually saying until she shouted,
"It's a catastrophe!!"
Me: "What is a catastrophe?"
Kay: "ME! I AM the catastrophe!!"

"When I was little I used to say, pock-a-sell (popsicle), but now that I am bigger I know it's pos-isil."
I couldn't get myself to tell her it is still wrong!

We went apple picking and Kaylee ran ahead. She shouted, "Come quick! I found a glorious apple!!" Since when did she say glorious??

Kaylee was stepping off a stepstool at her cousin's house, but she did not realize there were two steps rather than one. Basically she didn't realize the drop was as far as it was and she sorta-kinda almost fell, but in reality wasn't even close to falling.
K: "Did you see that?"
Me: "I did. Are you okay?"
K: "I am okay, but it was terrifying!!" (Dramatic much?)

I must have said, I love you to death a few times to either Kay or my husband because Kaylee started saying, "I love you for death" recently.

At different times during the day the ice maker in our fridge can be noisy. No matter what Kaylee is doing if she is within ear shot of the noise maker she will stop and shout,
"The fridge needs to talk to me!"
She then puts her ear against the fridge and will have a quiet conversation with the fridge for several minutes. Some kids have imaginary friends. Kaylee makes friends with the appliances.