Sunday, October 30, 2011

Telling My Parents They are Going to be Grandparents!

I realized that I told the story of telling my husband that he was going to be a daddy, but I never told the story of telling the rest of my family. So here it is:

October 8th was the day I found out my lifelong dream of becoming a mom was coming true and the same day my husband found out he was going to be a dad. We decided to only tell our immediate family and my very best friend (who is 2 months ahead of me in her pregnancy) because they were the people we would tell even if we miscarried. I had to tell my whole immediate family at the same time because there was no way I could choose telling one person over another. My husband and I decided to put a onsie (I bought 6 months ago to inspire me to workout for our future child) in a gift bag. We made one for my mom and one for my dad. We decided to give them the gift bag at our weekly family Sunday dinner. So around 4:30 we got in the car with our gift bags and excitedly talked about sharing the big news the whole way to my parents house, about 20 minutes.

When we arrived I could barely contain myself and grabbed the gift bags from the back of the car and dashed to the front door. As I opened the door my heart sunk!!! There in the front entryway was a complete stranger!! My brother greeted us with a, "Oh hey, this is my roommate." All the blood emptied from my body and my husband and I looked at each other in sheer horror. Our little secret would have to wait another week.

I have no idea how I kept the secret that long. I think it was the reason for my insomnia that week because I just had so much trouble not telling my family.

The next week we were relieved to see that no Sunday dinner guests were at my parents house and we could finally reveal our secret! We sat my parents at the head of one side of the table and had them open the presents at the same time. Needless to say, everyone was shocked. There was a lot of congrats, I can't believe it, and my dad popped the champagne. Of course I had to pass on the champagne because the little one isn't old enough to drink yet, but everyone else enjoyed it. My mom refused to give back the onsie and it is now hanging in her closet.  We are thrilled that nobody suspected and that everyone is overjoyed that a new little one will be joining us in Sunday dinners. It is so much more fun to be able to share the excitment with others and I cannot wait until we are 13 weeks (6 weeks from now) and we can share our news with everyone we know!

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Hormones make Me Crazy!!!

So I have always been kinda a hypochondriac. Not the real kind that everyone in the ER knows your name because you are always in there dying of god knows what. Rather I am the type that every time I get a headache I secretly wonder if I have meningitis and then go on to mentally prepare myself for what life will be like if they have to amputate all my limbs. I wish I could say I was lying, but it is true. On the positive side I have yet to contract meningitis and happily have all my limbs...for now.

Yeah so who would have known that pregnancy would make me 100 times more of a crazy person? Figures. Let me explain. Thursday night at 1:00 in the morning I got up to pee. Now that alone should have kept my fears at bay because every since being pregnant I almost always pee sometime during the night. Well, this night as I emerged from bed I realized that my baby feeders weren't really all that heavy...Wait they weren't too sore either!! Holy shit! So I quickly woke up my husband in a panic telling him I think I wasn't pregnant anymore!!! "Are you bleeding?" He asked half groggy half panicked. "No." "Are you crampy?" "No." "Well then why do you think you aren't pregnant anymore?" He seemed to be less nervous. "I think I lost my boobs, look!!!" I practically wailed! "They look the same to me" he said now trying really hard not to fall back asleep. "NO! They are smaller and they don't hurt and they aren't heavy so what if they shrink and are gone by tomorrow? Besides I haven't thrown up, aren't pregnant women supposed to barf all the time? I feel to good to be pregnant!"

Now my husband knew I was crazy when I married him and so he has learned to put up with my craziness. He reassured me that I was just getting used to the size/firmness of my boobs and they weren't any different. He then reassured me that the baby was hanging on tightly and wasn't going anywhere. It kinda worked, but I still was freaked out and didn't fall asleep for quite some time.

When I woke up my chest wasn't really all that sore which of course didn't help the situation, but luckily work got in the way so I forgot about my dilemma for 9 hours. I am still a little concerned and am hoping everything is alright. I have to wait until my first appointment which is now Nov 9th. Only 11 days till I get to see and hear my little blueberry (the size of my baby) and make sure he/she is healthy and growing right on schedule.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Cysters Make The Best Pregnant Women

October 10, 2011

So as I am reading about and experiencing pregnancy symptoms (I am still early and therefore, the symptoms are still mild) I am coming to realize that cysters make the best preggos! Think about the most common symptoms and then think how bad they actually are...

1. Nausea: Ever had a bad infection? No appetite and wanting to barf usually accompanies these not so happy days. Or ever heard of Cipro, levequin, or Bactim? Basically a tune up is a nice two week stint of nausea and lack of appetite.  Oh and don't get me started on IVs... I have yet to experience pregnancy related nausea

2. Fatigue: Lung infection. Nuff said. I have experienced this, but it is way less drastic than fatigue that comes with a lung infection.

3. Constipation (cute I know): Most CFers that are pancreatic insufficient have had issues with their enzymes at least every once in a while. Maybe it doesn't lead to constipation, but we are no strangers to gastrointestinal issues. Heck, I went YEARS without enzymes before I was diagnosed. An uncomfy tummy is no stranger to me. Had this around week 4, but now back to normal.

4. Gas (even cuter!): Extra air whether it is burping or well.... usually comes along with some CF issues such as gastrointestinal issues or GERD so many of us are all too familiar with a little extra air. Burping up a storm on and off.


5. Having to pee a lot: Being on antibiotics makes me pee all the time because I drink so much more water. It even makes me pee at night. Last night I got up to pee 3 times the night before 0. On average I get up at least once, but it's for a much more fun reason than antibiotics.


There are a ton of other symptoms that come later and I will let you know if CF has equipped me well for those. For now I am enjoying every second of this pregnancy!

I have been reading pregnancy message boards for other June mom-to-bes and it is funny what people complain about! So many worry about gaining weight and their figures never being the same. Maybe having CF makes you realize that there are so many MORE important things than having a nice figure. I don't care if I look "fat" because my baby bloat just looks like a little extra lard at the moment. I don't care if my figure is destroyed by this little one and I will forever have to wear spanx and a push up bra. I don't care if I get stretch marks! I am having a BABY!!! Something I never thought possible and who cares what my body looks like because what a miracle that it could support another human life. Besides even with this major bloat gut I feel more beautiful now than I ever have in my life! For once my CF gut is serving a purpose and is bloated for a reason OTHER than CF. 

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

First Pregnant CF Appointment

So I went to the CF doc yesterday and felt 600lbs lifted off my shoulders.

I need to explain a misconception about pregnancy. You always hear and read that prenatal care is VITAL and you need to call your OB once you become pregnant to ensure that you are taking proper care of yourself and your baby yada, yada, yada. While this is important I learned that this isn't AS important early on. Let me explain. I found out I was pregnant and like anyone that works at a school was trying to call to get my first prenatal appointment during my breaks by sneaking into my car so nobody would overhear. Without fail I would be put on hold, my break would end, and I would hang up without an appointment. By Friday of that first week I was freaking out. I thought I was being a horrible mother by letting the 5th week slip by without so much as an appointment. From what I read through other CF pregnancy blogs, forums, etc people are getting their blood levels (betas?) checked early on to make sure they are increasing at a proper rate, and going into appointments and are being watched very carefully. Well, get this...if you aren't going though an infertility clinic nobody wants to take your blood to make sure your beta levels are okay and nobody really wants to see you till you are 8-11 weeks along. Uhhhh really? That is almost all the way though your 1st trimester. Crazy, but true.

Anyway getting off my tangent, I was relieved to just get a stupid appointment for ANYTHING just to make sure that something in my life was going okay so I was happy when I got into the CF clinic at 6 weeks. Well here is the run down of the day:

  • My weight remained the same which at this point is fine. 
  • My blood glucose seems fine, a little high on the normal side so gestational diabetes may come into play later, but for now they are pleased with my numbers.
  • My lung function went up 1% -YAY!!! 58% is my new high :)
  • I got a lot of congrats from everyone on the team.
  • I got my flu shot (100% safe during pregnancy) so I should stay flu free this season- yay!
  • Looked over my meds (even though I did this a while ago with my OB) and he suggested I get of Zithromax for the first trimester because it probably won't have a major impact in such a short amount of time. Funny thing is I stopped once I got the BFP anyway for that very reason. He also said to use the allergy pills and nasal spray as needed. Other than that all my other meds got the green light.
So my doc was so happy with my numbers! He even told me he is sure I will see 60% some time in my pregnancy!! That would be awesome! As he was leaving I asked him when I should come back next and he paused for a second and said he was so pleased with my numbers and how well I have been doing that I really don't need to come back for 2-3 months unless I start feeling differently. I am so relieved that everything on the CF front is going well and feel so much better knowing my doc is not really too worried about me. 

Monday, October 24, 2011

Little Body Vacation

It seems that so much of my life I have had to assist my body in working correctly. To digest food I have to provide my body with enzymes. To breath well I have hours of treatments. To ensure my body works properly I have to provide my body with extra vitamins. In order to keep my sinuses clear I have to do sinus rinses. My body is very dependent on me and I need to put a lot of work into it in order to ensure it is working correctly.

My bodies lack of independence makes me more in awe of this pregnancy than I could ever imagine. Somehow this needy body is doing something all on it's own without daily assistance from me. In fact, two weeks before I saw those 2 pink lines it was silently working without even a whisper of what was going on. After those 2 pink lines appeared I started to see or feel changes has made me feel an unimaginable amount of respect for a woman's body. It is too early to see many changes, but watching my breasts get larger and heavies is fascinating. My body is working everyday to allow me to nourish my baby when he/she arrives. It did not need a reminder or guidance, it simply knows what to do! Feeling the twinges of my ever expanding uterus reminds me that my body knows to make room for this miracle growing in me everyday. I am in complete awe of this body that has always given me so much grief (because of CF) and I now think women really are the superior sex :)

Sunday, October 23, 2011

OUCH!!!!

October 13, 2011

I am a little tired today, but it could be due to the fact that when I wake up to pee (around 4:00) most mornings I cannot fall back asleep and so I am really lacking in the sleep department. Anyway, besides being a little tired I a new preggo symptom has found its way into my small pregnant body. Let me explain.

Yesterday I had a symptom free day. I wasn't tired, my chest wasn't sore, I was eating normally, and all was fine. Actually, all was not fine because these days scare the crap out of me. Having all preggo symptoms (which is very few for me at the moment) disappear makes me paranoid that something is wrong. Well, this morning I was glad to feel like my chest was 15 pounds heavier than yesterday although they don't look any bigger than yesterday they just FEEL like they are HUGE! So I woke up happy because my chest was telling me that I was indeed still preggo. Whew!

Then on my morning commute I got a huge scare! I was having chest pains. I was kinda freaking out thinking I was gonna have a heart attack. Okay, that is a little dramatic, but I was wondering what the heck was going on. So after several minutes of this chest pain I touch the part of my chest that hurts which was kinda central. I am not sure why i did this, but sometimes when you are in pain or worried you might die it is better to pretend to assess the situation and make a non medical prognosis. I somehow believed by touching my chest I could figure out what the pain was caused by. Well, guess what? Who needs med school because I totally diagnosed myself. As my hand gently touched my chest I almost yelped in pain. It was my chest as in the baby feeders growing ON my chest! Holy smokes they hurt by the lightest touch and I realized they were hurting simply by existing. So thankfully I am not having a heart attack and am simply getting ready to nourish a human life.

**Update: October 23rd. My baby feeders have calmed down in the pain category. I still have to give weird "far away hugs" so that my girls don't get squeezed, but at least they don't hurt all the time now. They are much bigger and kinda tingly now. I am not minding the bigger part of it, but kinda wondering how big they will be when the milk comes in though...yikes!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Holy Cramps

October 11, 2011

Here is a scary fun little piece of info for all those ttc...

Soon after I got my big beautiful positive while I was still switching between sheer elation and utter disbelief I started to get cramps! Just like PMS yucky cramps! This of course knocked me off cloud 9 and shot me into a state of panic. I quickly scoured the web for false positives, sure that I had somehow tested positive while my belly was actually barren. I soon found that false positives are almost non-existent. They are often a result of a chemical pregnancy and so the woman WAS pregnant, but may have lost the baby due to the cruelty of nature. I ruled that out because something was telling me that this just wasn't the case and I went on to search cramping and pregnancy.

Seems our lovely oh so little uterus knows a big old baby won't fit in it as is so it stretches and expands to make room for baby and blood makes its way over to our hard working uterus to give it an extra boost. This can feel like PMS cramps and can continue for quite some time. These are also PERFECTLY normal as long as there is no bleeding or the pain isn't really really strong. So a very relieved me continued my feelings of elation and shock for the rest of the day. These cramps have yet to stop, but are VERY mild and are more of a strange sensation rather than pain or discomfort. So if you get your BFP and feel some mild cramps don't panic it may be your body making was for baby.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Telling My Husband He Is Going to be a Dad

I woke up Saturday morning on October 8th knowing I was going to test as my period was one day late. I decided this month that I would not test earlier than one day after my period because getting my hopes up and having the excuse that the lines might appear tomorrow was getting too hard. I wanted a definite yes or no!

My husband had already left for work, but I did not expect a positive so I made my way to the bathroom with a very full bladder and pulled out a pregnancy stick. I was really calm and trying not to get my hopes up. As I capped the pregnancy test waiting for the results on the counter I held my breath. Within a blink of an eye both lines turned dark pink, VERY dark pink. I knew within 30 seconds of taking a test that it was positive. The feeling that came over me was not at all what I expected. All those months and even years of dreaming of having a positive pregnancy test seemed to disappear and it seemed that this was so meant to be. I stared at the test saying, "I am pregnant, I am pregnant!!!" The realization seemed less shocking than I expected. I have always expected pure shock at a positive test, but it was as if my whole entire life was building up to this perfect moment and that there was not an ounce of my soul that didn't believe that this was the perfect timing to become pregnant. I think I must have known in my heart that today would be the day that I would officially become a mommy. Within another blink of an eye I was feeling so much elation and excitement. THIS was the moment I have wanted my whole entire life and here it is on this very day. Relief washed over me with the realization that my waiting game was finally over.

It took every ounce of self control not to shout the news through the neighborhood and not to run up to my husband's work to tell him. This joy and excitement was more than I could handle by myself. I found myself touching my stomach and realizing that this was the very first secret my baby and I would ever share. I knew of my babies existence before anyone else in this world and there was some comfort in knowing that the two of us were in this together.

As I waited for his arrival I put the pregnancy test into a wrapped box and waited with excitement for my husband to realize that he was going to be a daddy. All day I couldn't stop thinking about how this was such an incredibly bonding event even with him at work. Nothing we will ever do in our lives will ever come close to creating another soul to walk this earth. No job offers, promotions, or other achievements will ever come close to our creating a baby. How magical it is to create another being!!

I instantly started wondering if the baby would be a boy or a girl, what color hair and eyes the baby would have? Will the baby have curly hair like my husband and poker straight hair like me? Will the babies first work be in English or Spanish (we are going to raise the baby bilingual as Spanish was my husband's first language), will the baby be good at Math like my husband or artistic like me? A million questions ran through my mind.

I couldn't leave the house because I wanted to be home the second my husband arrived. I ignored the errands and skipped the chores. All I could do was anxiously wait. He wanted this so bad and I was going to tell him his dreams came true today!!

His car pulled up and I couldn't help it. I whipped open the door and shouted that I had a present for him. He smiled ear to ear because who doesn't love a surprise present? He came in and kissed me and asked what the present was for. I made him sit on the first seat by the door, and thrusted the gift in his face. I was so excited I was worried I would blab the news before he opened the box. I sat at his feet as he carefully opened the box and peeked inside. He stared for a moment processing what was going on. "What is it?" he asked before I could see in his eyes that he knew exactly what it was. "You're pregnant?" he almost shouted as my eyes filled up with tears. He grabbed me and pulled me to him saying he couldn't believe I was pregnant. The he started talking a mile a minute do you want a boy or girl, I can't believe it, you're pregnant, we really did it. This moment to me was so much more monumental than any other moment in my entire life. Even more touching and sacred than our wedding because this was something we made out of the love that came from our wedding, this was ALL our dreams coming true.

My husband works a double on Saturdays and so soon after the announcement he had to get ready for work. We went into the bedroom where he pulled out clothes for his next shift. He was walking in circles and talking in circles too, still grinning as wide as he could. He stopped, looked at me and said, "I am so excited I think I am going crazy!" He wouldn't let me leave his side. I even sat on the floor while he took a shower so we could be together until he had to leave to work. he kept saying he wanted to call in sick because he wanted to stay with me. Of course he had to go to work and so when he kissed me goodbye and I shut the door I knew that for the first time I was not alone while my husband was at work because I had my little baby growing inside me.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

First Symptoms

October 10, 2011

I think I read EVERY article in the world about early pregnancy symptoms. I have discouraging news to report. If I wasn't trying for a baby and waiting for my period, if I didn't have a + pregnancy test, AND if I wasn't ubber in tune with my body there is no way that even at this point I would know I was pregnant. My early pregnancy symptoms were much more mild than any PMS symptom have been. With that being said if I were to decide to have a second (due to CF I probably won't) I would still research ever symptoms ever known to exist so I will tell you the ones I experienced.

1. The very first thing I noticed that seemed off was that I could not stop burping -super sexy! It was SO excessive!!! I would eat/drink water or an ensure or ANYTHING and I would feel like I chugged 4 cans of soda in 3 seconds flat! I spent most of my day trying to release this air as silently as possible. The burps could not be ignored or swallowed because I had a herculean amount of air sitting in my throat waiting to escape! I could NOT simply keep it in. I managed to do very well at silently releasing them when at work, but often at home I was less careful to the mild disgust of my husband. This lasted from about conception until a day or two after I tested positive.

~I did not think of this as a preggo sign because as I did research on excessive burping I found it is a symptom of GERD. I thought it was just a new fun friend of CF making its way into my life. Happy to say that although GERD and excessive gas is a pregnancy symptom (for any preggo woman) the burping has stopped and I have yet to experience heartburn.

2. VERY VERY mildy sore boobies: It felt 10x less severe than my normal PMS sore boobies. The only weird thing about my soreness is that it seemed to be higher as in my (nonexistent) cleavage area. They continue to feel sore and a little more each day, but mainly they feel heavy. Although they don't look much different to me they feel about 15lbs each when I don't have a bra on, but it took several days to build up to that extreme.

3. I felt really really warm before testing. I have no idea if this is a early pregnancy sign, but with increased bbt it makes sense to me.


These were my only symptoms pre + preggo test! Seriously that was it!!! No tiredness, no morning sickness, no real indication of what was going on inside my body at all. Now I only waited till I was 1 day late to test so maybe if I waited a few weeks I would have more, but who waits that long when ttc???

It Is Show Time!!!!!!!!

So I have been quiet lately because I have been super busy, but there is another reason I have been extra quiet that I didn't tell anyone about. October 8th, 2011 I found out through two little pink lines that my biggest dream is coming true! I believe I am a little over 5 weeks pregnant and yet I am still in so much shock that only occasionally does it seem real. I am full of so many emotions ranging from sheer elation to fear to uncertainty, but mainly I feel disbelief! I have not blogged about it yet because I wanted to tell my family first before telling the blog world. For so long I have planned, exercised, dieted (the high fat kind), and prepared for this moment and it is finally here! No more rehearsals or preparations it is officially show time!

I know it is early and getting pregnant does not guarantee that you will have a baby, but I am so hopeful that this little one will make it through all 9 months and be in my arms this June. I was afraid to post in fear of jinxing my pregnancy or in case things did not work out and I would have to talk about loss, but this blog is about my pregnancy journey and so that means the good with the bad and everything between.

I know this subject is painful for some people. I know first hand how hard it is to be happy for others when they have something you want so very badly. I know the next 9 months will be full of posts about baby/pregnancy/CF so I understand if it is too hard to read. I want to write about every doctors appointment, fear, and victory during the journey and hope it will be of good use to someone out there. This will be my version of "What to Expect When Your Expecting -CF Style." Feel free to ask my questions either that you want me to answer or that you want me to ask my doctors.

I have backlogged half a dozen blog posts from the moment I found out until today so I will be posting them very shortly. I put the correct date at the top of the entry so that they will make some sort of sense and stay in order. Please send prayers, good vibes, or positive energy this way because my baby and I will need it!

My Facebook cysters, please do not say anythign as I have only told my immediate family and few close friends. I am keeping this baby a secret until 14 weeks. Thanks :)

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Cayston Forever?

So this last round of Cayston was such a crazy experience. I started it a little early as I was sick and on antibiotics and during the duration of one week I coughed out 5, yes 5 very large and old nasty plugs in 7 days! I even had a fever for a bit before coughing 2 of them out. It was like clockwork. Got a little fever, did my treatments, coughed a plug, fever disappeared. I know the antibiotics must have helped bring up the plugs, but I really wasn't that sick. I got a cold and lost my voice, slept all day, and was back at work the next day. After 27 years (13 knowing about my CF) I have come to learn that no cold of mine disappears without giving my lungs a visit so I immediately go on orals.  So even though I was on orals I was still shocked that I pulled so many plugs when I don't feel like my lungs ever got too bad.

With that being said my Cayston run is over and I am nervous about stopping. I can't use Colistin or Tobi so I really only have Cayston to keep my bacteria at bay. My doctor mentioned staying on Cayston all the time when I started to show problems with Colistin, but we haven't discussed it further. Seeing how many plugs (not just this month although this month wins, but all months when I start Cayston) I am really considering going on it full time. I am not too worried about resistance because if I don't take care of my lungs now I won't live long enough to become resistant to any meds anyway. At this point, I am not resistant to any meds (one perk of  late diagnosis) and figure with the upcoming inhaled Levequin and Cipro I will have several options in the future. Has anyone else ever been on the same med every month or heard of someone doing this? I am going to talk to my doc about it Monday and will let you now what he says. For now I miss my cayston :(

Monday, October 10, 2011

Quiet Lately

I know I haven't blogged in a few days which is weird for me. I actually miss it because blogging is a huge outlet for me. I have several blog entries started, but have yet to finish them so some rapid fire blogs will be coming soon.

I am a little busier than usual as I got a tutoring gig. I started this week and it is 5 days a week after school with a really fun 5th grader. She just moved to town and although she is super smart she needs help with motivation. She is awesome and I really like working with her! Kids are always fun and easier when it is one on one. I am a little worried that it is making me have a longer day which gets me on the road later which means more traffic. I am concerned that it is running into treatment/gym time, BUT it is great money. Originally I was going to tutor an hour a day each school day for $500/month. Now she may need 1/2 more each day which means I would have $750/month! Talk about good money!! It is also almost stress free. We sit in a quiet library, do her homework, study her spelling words, and that is it!! So much easier than my normal job and the money isn't too shabby!

Once I get my new routine down I think I will blog a lot more. I am  a creature of routine/habit and when my routine changes I need a few days to adjust in order to be productive again!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Charting, ttc, and that sort of fun stuff.

I started charting this month and now that I got the hang of it it really isn't so bad. The month started off rough in that I would forget to take a temp until AFTER I showered or I would forget to place the thermometer by my bed and would have to run around looking for it before I took my temp. Basically, I was the worst charter ever! I decided that even if the temp couldn't count (such as after a shower) I would still take my temp to get in the habit. I finally go tthe hang of it after a few CRAZY days. Despite my craziness I did learn a few things about my cycles! First, I used to count the length of my cycle after my period ended. Yeah, this is wrong. You are supposed to start counting on the first day of your period. Hmm well, live and learn and learn that your cycles are very long! Second, besides having long cycles I do ovulate as I saw a clear temp shift that has remained high since. Lastly, all the signs I thought my body was giving me when I thought I was ovulating were true! Woohoo. My body is a pretty "loud" ovulator. I get everything from ewcm to ovulation cramps, but never knew if I was actually ovulating or it my body was pretending to ovulate. So now that I know I am ovulating (or at least ovulated this month) I can rule that out as a "challenge" towards ttc.

There is another challenge that CF women ttc can face and so I also wanted to discuss the use of Mucinex. This is tmi for any non CFer ttc so you can skip this section if you so choose. I started taking Mucinex twice a day from the beginning of my cycle. CFers are supposed to have thicker mucus everywhere and I mean everywhere (if you get my drift) and Mucinex is supposed to thin this mucus out which makes ttc easier. My doc gave me the approval to use it, but told me not to expect much as it may be pointless. Well, I beg to differ. I know the placebo effect could very likely be the reason for the change, but I really saw a significant difference in my ewcm! It was text book and much more..uhh lets say abundant than in the past! I really believe that it made a significant difference for me and so I will continue to use it every month!! Anyone else notice a difference after using Mucinex?

Sunday, October 2, 2011

A CF Mommy Gets Her Wings

Hearts shattered all over the CF world at the news of Nicole's death. She was only 27 years old and excitedly pregnant with her first child, a son. More than halfway through her pregnancy she experience a severe lung bleed that landed her in the hospital. The bleeding was stopped, only to return again. Sadly, CF reared its ugly head and took Nicole's life as well as the life of her unborn son. This disease is horrendous and needs to become a thing of the past. No more lives should be destroyed from this disease and nobody should endure the pain that Nicole's family has had to endure. A fellow cyster set up a fundraising page to raise money in honor of Nicole. The money will go towards the CF Trust. The UK has been working on promising gene therapy that has been halted due to a lack of funds. If the enough money isn't raised by the end of October the gene therapy research and trials will end. As a way to honor Nicole we are asking for donations to aid in making CF stand for Cure Found. The CF Trust is based in the UK, but discoveries made anywhere in the world effect CFers ALL over the world. US citizens can of course donate, but keep in mind the exchange rate when making a donation. Check out the memorial site here!