A cyster's life is full of medical equipment, nebulizers, bottles of supplements, enzymes, antibiotics, PICC lines, hospital stays, and doctor appointments. Needless to say, my life often feels very medical. I barely notice how different our apartment looks from that of an average apartment. The vest in the corner, the nebulizer next to the couch, the sterilized neb cups in the kitchen, the cabinets dedicated to enzymes and meds. Even my routine of doing treatments three times a day and popping pills without thinking twice seems somewhat normal because it is all I have ever known in my adult life. I find it dumbfounding that friends of mine complain about taking their birth control pills the same time e.v.e.r.y. d.a.y!!!!! I just can't fathom not being able to take one measly little pill each day. A cyster remembers dozens and we do a pretty damn good job. My OB upon seeing all my meds listed said, "How do you keep them all organized, do you have a giant pill box?" She didn't realize that most of them are nebbed, but even so no pill box necessary. I just know I need to take my meds and so I do. Simple as that.
Now as normal as my life seems I know it is far from normal. I just need to glance at my husbands routine to realize this. I don't mind that my life is extra complicated so much. I mean I would be more than willing to give up CF and all the crap it comes with in half a second, but I have gotten somewhat used to it. But there is one thing that I just want to keep out of the medical realm- having a baby.
Okay, I know this sounds silly. Being pregnant requires an obscene amount of blood draws and doctors appointments. What I mean is I just want to have a baby the old fashion way. I want to wake up one morning after only a few months of trying for a baby and realize my period still has not appeared. I want to create a baby out of love and not in a medical office. Medical offices already take over my life I want this one act, creating another life, to be free of doctors and sterile environments and needles and nurses.
Although this is my wish I am not dumb. I realize natural conception is not always feasible with CF and so I must remind myself that regardless of how a child is brought into this world, it will still be a beautiful love story. I have decided that I will do as much as I can to increase my chances of conceiving a baby without the assistance of a doctor. I have started officially temping, stocked up on OPKs, and started taking Mucinex religiously. Although, I wish I could be like my friend who recently found out she was pregnant by old fashion baby dancing often mid month my desire for a baby exceeds my need to create a child without "assistance"