The Dreaded Purchase

Purchasing pregnancy tests has always been an ordeal for me. There are two main issues with going to buy pregnancy tests. The first issue is the decision to be an optimist or a pessimist. More specifically, should I go to Costco or order a large quantity online to save money? The simple answer would be and should be Yes, of course. We all know life is expensive and babies are expensive so I might as well save some cash! Here is where my over thinking brain gets in the way. If I buy a 20 pack of pregnancy tests then am I admitting that I think it will take 20 months to get pregnant? Is it extremely pessimistic to purchase bulk quantities of pregnancy tests? It is like admitting, well I am sure I will be using dozens of these damn things, getting disappointed month after month so instead of running to the store every 4 weeks I will just purchase them all right now to save me some time and money. And that saving money thing, yeah doesn't work so well if you buy 20 pregnancy tests, but only use 7 because you got pregnant within 7 months.

Oh and if I really want to over think it then what about the issue that if I have the pregnancy tests available then I will go through the pregnancy tests like crazy. Yeah, I know I probably only ovulated 5 days ago, but you never really can be sure so I am just going to test..I have 20 of these damn things anyway! So either way in the end I really won't be saving money anyway.

Now that I decided to be optimistic (and prevent a pregnancy test taking addiction) I have come to my second conundrum. Where to buy these tests? If I go to the target down the street from me I may run into people I know from the neighborhood. Last thing I need is my neighbors asking me about my fertility. So I try to go to a store kinda out of the way, but then I hate when you go back and it is the same cashier! Like, Oh hi! It's me again. Yeah, making my monthly purchase. In which they will undoubtedly be thinking something like, Guess those swimmers don't swim too well. Awkward! Okay, chances are they probably won't remember me out of the dozens of people they see each shift, but I like to think that I am abnormally memorable and so they would in fact recognize me instantly.  So this leads me to trying to buy pregnancy tests at several stores, nowhere near my house, with multiple cashiers at each location.

Sometimes I think I have problems, I mean besides the whole CF thing.