Thursday, March 12, 2015

Two and three quarters

Dear Kaylee,
After the age of two I stopped your monthly updates. You are still changing everyday, but in ways much more subtle than taking your first steps or first words. Although, your accomplishments may not seem as spectacular on paper as when you were experiencing firsts I find that each month I am loving the child you are becoming and am in awe as you transform in front of my eyes.

We are knee deep in the terrible twos, but honestly kid if others consider this age terrible they are focusing on all the wrong aspects. Sure, you can be strong willed, bossy(!!!!), and you can negotiate like a beast, but oh those are the things that are helping you grow into the strong, beautiful woman I know you will be. I like this age the very best (I think I say this every month).

So what has changed in the few months since you were two and a half? Lot, babe, lots! You have a profound love for the color green, profound! Your green crayons are down to little nubs, your green markers are running dry. There is no color in this world that brings you more joy than the color green.

You have always been extremely affectionate and that continues to grow right along with you. You cover me with kisses, Snuggle me to my hearts content, and tell me, "You are my favorite in the whole wide world!". My favorite though, is when you squeeze my arm or leg and you clench your teeth so hard and growl, "I JUST love you!" That is my favrotie because I know that feeling, I feel it towards you! The feeling of I love you so-much-I-could-squeeze-you-so-tight-that-it-would-squish-you-but-I must-show-a-little-self-constraint-because-I-love-you-so-much-I-would-ever-hurt-you-kinda-love.

The most profound change though is your desire to be independent from me. Yes, you have been growing a little more independent from me from the day you were born. The last year has brought such rapid changes towards independence that I should have seen this coming, but I didn't. You like to play alone, in your room, with your door closed. You pulp the toys off your shelf and play in the middle of the room completely alone. Those same toys you used to pull into the living room to play within a few feet of me. Little one, I know this is a good thing. I know this means you are confident and secure and growing into the little girl you are supposed to be, but I can't deny that my heart breaks just a tiny each time you close that door and block me away from your imaginary world that belongs to only you. I feel a little pang of sadness that you don't need the comfort of my presence throughout the day. Oh, but I wouldn't change a thing!


  1. The antibiotic desensitization sounds fascinating. Kinda like the latest research and trials I read about tree nut allergies. It's great that it worked for you.

    Your skin reactions make me think of my own. On very few occasions, thank goodness, I've gotten hives. Emotional overload and bring them on with me. As a very young girl, I was a BIG blusher. In my forties, I developed a rosacea rash and irritated eyes. After oral antibiotics, Rx creams that I still use, and severely limiting OTC skin products & cosmetics with lots of dyes & fragrances, my skin slowly healed, and is now very good with my maintenance meds. Even THINKING about certain highly perfumed products can make my skin tingle. And a lot of *natural* stuff with essential oils etc. are HIGHLY irritating. Cetaphil gentle cleanser is my life :o).

    I love your perspective on your little girl and the love you describe between the two of you is precious.


    I know you do.

    1. I am so grateful doctors are able to desensitize me to the meds or I would be completely out of luck! It sure is buying me a lot of time.

      Thank you for sharing about your skin reactions. I am glad your skin is doing well with your maintenance meds. The one thing I learned with all these skin reactions and rashes is that even doctors and specialists can find the skin perplexing!