Missed Lessons

I will be posting later about my ongoing struggle with Accredo, but honestly, I am so beyond pissed right now at them that I just can't let myself think about it or I may seriously lose my mind. Can you tell I still haven't had my medication situation figured out yet? Despite endless calls from Vertex, my clinic coordinator and myself we are still in the never ending hell that is called Accredo. Okay, I can feel myself getting fired up again so I am moving on to the real reason I am posting.

After dealing with Accredo for two weeks trying to get Orkambi and still not making much progress (it is one step forward, ten steps back and then an oops we, as in Accredo, messed up and we are now nowhere even close to where we need to be) I was pretty much at my breaking point for the tenth time today. I was venting to my husband that I feel there is a reoccurring theme in my life. I feel like the Universe is trying to teach me to be patient. Over and over I am thrown in these sitatuation that extreme amounts of patience is required and I can't figure out why because I already am a very patient person. Trust me I have a lot to work on in life, but patience is hardly one of them.

My husband looked at me and said, "Maybe the point was not that you needed to learn patience, but that you needed to learn to be more assertive."

Bingo!

Yes, I have patience for days and I also am super laid back so it takes a lot to get me upset. Patience is something I am not lacking. Being assertive on the other hand is not something that comes naturally to me. I always envied people that could be very assertive (while respectful of course) and got their point across firmly and without hesitation. That is not me, but I wish it was. Sure, I was assertive today, but while I was fighting for what I deserve and need I felt like a fish out of water, like I was trying too hard to be something I am not. It did not come naturally. I eventually lost my cool (oops) and I know that is not productive either.

From now on, when my patience is pushed, I am going to be more assertive and COMFORTABLE while doing it. I know the more I practice the less uncomfortable I will be because like anything else it is a skill that can be learned. So in 2017 I am going to work on being assertive and saying exactly what I mean without an ounce of hesitation!