Ready Or Not

The last time I wrote I was feeling a bit lost with all the changes going on in my life and my health. I felt overwhelmed by the whole transplant evaluation and the thoughts of the future. I think I am finally feeling some peace with everything happening next week (NEXT WEEK!!!). I am starting to feel better health wise. I had a cold 3 weeks ago and I feel like I finally got over all the lasting effects from the cold, the weather has turned, and I am feeling more optimistic in general. Kaylee and I have even spent the past 2 weekends going to the park and playing badminton, basketball and volleyball. It has been so fun and her being 6 and completely inexperienced means I can keep up with her with my wheezy lungs! Feeling health enough to get outside and play with my daughter pulled me from my scared and sad state has left me reenergized and feeling more confident with what is to come.

 I am absolutely still nervous about the whole evaluation and the endless lists of tests hey are going to do and how jam packed the schedule is. For someone who isn't in good health the schedule seems very rigorous. I am hoping for more energy than I usually have, that I won't get too lost in the hospital (I have never been) and that things run on time because the tests are booked close together and we all know how slow hospitals can be. I am not sure what to do if we get delayed and start missing appointments! But despite these little worries I do feel like I am ready for the tests. I keep reminding myself I have gone through scary and painful procedures before and I came out the other side okay. This won't be any different. Scary and maybe painful, but doable. There have been so many other CF patients who have done it before me and so I know it can be done.

In other news, I turn 35 this week. I honestly am not sure how I got so old! Not that 35 is necessary old (although in CF terms I guess it probably is). It is just that life seems to be going by at an incredibly quick rate. I remember my mom's 40th birthday as if it were just a few years ago and somehow here I am halfway to 40, but how could it be possible that much time has passed? I imagine it will just keep marching by and I so hope that I get to be around with these lungs or donor lungs for a very long time!