Changing It Up Or Not

With Kaylee in school I have more time to focus on my health and I decided two days a week I will sleep in (until 6:30) and go to the gym after I drop Kaylee off to school. I still do my early mornings (5:20) three days a week because I actually really enjoy the early morning routine, but I know with winter coming I need to ensure I am getting at least 7 hours of sleep a night to fight off those winter germs.

The other benefit to working out later, outside of the sleep, is I wanted to change my workouts a bit in hopes that some variety may be beneficially to my lungs. On my late gym days I use the treadmill and have been attempting to speed walk for 5 min followed by jogging for five minutes. My goal was to work up to jogging the entire workout. I was pleasantly surprised how well my lungs took to the jogging walking combo and was hoping to see improvements in my jogging. (***Can I just throw in a side note here: In May 2014 I was told I could no longer jog due to medical reasons... take that suckers!!!CF can kiss my ass! Moving on...) However, as I jog more and walk less I have noticed some weird twinges in my knee post workout. Workout injuries are my biggest fear because I can't imagine what would happen to my poor lungs if I was injured and unable to workout. And it is so hard to get into a good workout routine and once you stop even for a week or two it can be torture trying to restart.

I am going to buy new running shoes in hopes my old pair was just a little too old to offer the appropriate support. I hope it works! Even though I absolutely adore swimming and I never have any weird aches or injuries from swimming a part of me thinks my lungs have gotten used to swimming and I don't notice as much clearance as I used to. In theory, I could work on my time and try to swim faster to give my lungs that extra boost, but I still need to be careful not to workout too hard or my O2 drops and being in a pool it isn't like wearing oxygen is an option. So I was hoping this small change in routine two days a week could provide the extra clearance I would like.

Now vs Then

This week my husband and I had a little get away. We went about an hour and a half Northeast to a historic old town to spend some time in nature just the two of us- child free! I was excited to get a little alone time with my husband before school starts and we thought of it as an early anniversary vacation (we have our 7 year wedding anniversary early next month). My only little concern was that we would 2,500 feet higher in elevation than we currently live (which is essentially sea level) and I was a little concerned with how my lung would handle the elevation. We figured we would give it a shot and if it was a little too high our hiking and nature weekend would end up being a laying around and relaxing weekend.

As my GPS notified us that our hotel was quickly approaching I realized that the car was going up a steep hill. As the car drove higher and higher I started to get worried. We live in a valley so our landscape is as flat as a landscape can be and I just wasn't sure if the hills in this town would make walking a challenge. We heard the town we were visiting wasn't known for good parking and that our best bet was to walk into town for restaurants. Would my lungs be able to handle these steep hills at a higher elevation? I figured there was nothing we could do about it at this point so we hoped for the best.

When we checked into our hotel we realized our room was on the second floor up a very steep and curvy set of stairs. Stairs still give me a touch of anxiety because for a long time I just physically could not climb a flight of stairs. When I was sick for a couple years I would have to climb stairs on all fours because I did not have the lung power to walk them like a normal person. Needless to say stairs bring back bad memories. Again, I was wondering how I was going to make it through this vacation.

All of these secret little fears ended up being fruitless. I handled the hills and the stairs like a champ! Sure, I may have been a little more winded than the normal person, but I also only have 1/3 of the lung function that a normal person has. The entire trip I did not need to stop and rest on the hills or the stairs and we walked a ton of hills! And even more amazing I survived a hike that was a straight downward hill that I would old never have even attempted a few years ago in fear that I would never make it back up the hill. Sure we walked back up the hill very slowly. But my husband was so patient and wouldn't let me get frustrated with how often I needed to rest. He even carried me on his back for a little to give me a rest (although I really didn't need the help it was a nice little rest).

As we were driving back home I couldn't help, but be in awe with my body. I was able to do so much and my CF hardly got in the way of our vacation (those darn treatments are always such a pain on vacation because we can't just get up and go) and I could hardly believe I was the same person I was a few years ago. It also made me realize once again lung function is just a number. I have been hovering in the low 30s for a few years now, but what I am able to do now vs a few years ago is extremely different! I have a feeling consistently swimming has helped condition my lungs and body so that I am able to much more with my little 33(ish)% now than I was even a year ago!

I know this newfound amazement may vanish with the next cold or exacerbation, but for now I am reveling in a body that has dealt with so very much and still seems to power through!

Hello Early Morning

Since I know you have been here before:


It is the first morning of getting back into my gym routine.
Alarm rings.
Is it the middle of the night? No? Shit, it is my gym day.
Push snooze
Alarm rings
Push snooze
Alarm rings
Turn alarm off and sit up. Debate laying back down to sleep just a little longer. Fight the urge and get up. Get bathing suit on and drink a glass of milk.
Think of a million reasons why the gym can wait until tomorrow.
Fight those negative thoughts, grab gym bag and walk out the door.
Realize it feels chilly and debate turning back and going inside. Who wants to swim when it is chilly?
Drive to gym. Turn off car and procrastinate a few seconds and worry you may be an utter failure at the gym and humiliate yourself by being incredibly out of shape.
Ignore the negativity and go inside.
See the usual girl at the front desk and feel a sense of relief because the familiarity of the old routine is setting in.
Go to the locker room to find the smile of a woman that always swims before you. "The water is great today."
Stand at the edge of the pool, jump in and start swimming. It feels familiar and, dare I say, nice?
Do 10 laps and feel an unfamiliar ache in your triceps and realize your still 60 laps from doing your usual workout. Have a quick moment of panic.
Realize your arms are tired before your lungs and feel pure joy! Get a second wind and swim on.
Realize you won't get your full 70 laps in and allow yourself to settle for 50.
Hope in the shower and feel like a bad ass for going to the gym and not dying.
Spend the rest of the day feeling proud and exhausted.

Rinse and repeat everyday... for the rest of your life.

Returning To The Pool

The pool is open! The pool is open!! The pool is open!!!


Can you tell I am excited. If you remember in April (holy crap, it was that long ago?) my gym closed their pool due to plumbing issues and then decided since the pool was out of commission they would refinish it (which it desperately needed).


Well, after seriously way too long they are finally open again tomorrow morning! So guess where I will be? Trying to see if I can pull myself out of bed at 5:20 again (eek) an attempt to swim again. I am actually super excited to be back at the pool every morning. I tried to still work out without the pool, but nothing gives my lungs a work out like swimming and it was really hard to stay consistent with exercise that I just didn't like.


Now I need to dust off my fitbit flex 2 (which just depressed me when the pool was closed) and see what these old lungs can do...

Tomorrow Morning

You know when you get sick and you don't have enough energy to fit everything you need to into the day? And you end up skipping the gym to conserve what little energy you do have? And you end up missing a full week of working out? And then that week turns into 2 1/2? And then you feel better, but your scared to go to the gym because now you are out of shape? You know that little post sick dilemma?

No? Maybe that is just me.

Well, after a full two and a half weeks of sleeping in and not working out I promised myself I would go to the gym tomorrow morning no matter what! I am now sorta freaking out about waking up early, and if my favorite lane will be open, and if I will successfully be able to swim an actual lap, and if I will be able to survive the day with less sleep or more exertion than I have had to cope with in several weeks.

The longer I wait to start up again the harder it will be so tomorrow I will suck it up and start my day at the gym again.

Polar Bear Plunge

I missed a few days of workouts because the whole fiasco with missing some Orkambi which made me too short of breath to workout. Friday I decided my lungs felt well enough to get back into my usually workout routine. I set my alarm and found myself checking into the gym early morning. To my dismay the girl working the front desk informed me that the pool was closed for maintenance and apologized for any inconvenience. Sigh, I wished I had decided to sleep in that day instead.

Over the weekend, I called to ensure the pool would be ready for Monday morning as I didn't want another early morning without a workout. The gym staff assured me the pool was up and running. So this morning, I found myself back at the gym and more than ready to get back into my workout routine. As hard as it is to get myself out of bed to go to the pool I never feel myself when I skip and so I really do enjoy my morning workouts. After checking in (and yes the pool was open!) I ran through the heavily falling rain to the pool, sat on the edge to adjust my goggles and dipped my feet into the water. Eeek! The water felt like ice! I went to the heat pump to check the water flow to see if the water being pumped into the pool was warm (it always is at this time in the morning) and it was also coming out as ice.

I wasn't about to miss another workout and so in I went for my very own polar bear plunge (although the mornings have been around 50 so I guess I really can't pretend I am as crazy... err... brave as the people that really do the plunge). I will say that being forced to swim in cold water sure encouraged me to swim a lot faster though!

Here is to hoping tomorrow morning that the pool will be open and the water will actually be warm!

Slow Motion

There was a time in my life that I would start a new workout routine and instantly my lungs would respond. I remember being so amazed when I started swimming again after a long break and my lung function jumped to some of the highest levels I had seen in a long time. I naïvely assumed that this meant that if people started exercising they would absolutely see positive changes in their lung function. See, the problem with CF is sweeping generalizations just don't hold up. What works for you doesn't mean it will work for someone else and even more mystifying is what works for you now may not work for you later.

About two and a half years ago. I had just gone through a horrible time in my health and very slowly started working out again because it was the first time in a long time my body would even allow me to work out. I started with water aerobics and had trouble keeping upon with the 60+ year old women in my class. Seriously, I was half their age and most of them smoked me in the pool with workouts. Humbling to say the least.

I eventually worked up to swimming laps. I did about 15 laps and took minute long breaks between each laps to catch my breath enough to try another lap. I was humiliated and ashamed that I was the youngest person in the pool and yet everyone's beautiful continuous laps that started long before I arrived at the pool and continues far beyond the time I left made me feel weak and broken. I would repeated excuses in my head as I did laps, "I have 30% lung function, but when I was healthier I could swim like you too," as if the other swimmers could read my mind and would be less judging when they heard my silent explanation.

I made progress and started swimming for about 15 minutes with fewer breaks although I only managed to do breaststroke (the easiest stroke for me) and hadn't built up the lung power to try front crawl. I was feeling less ashamed and humiliated until and older woman made a comment, "You are like my husband. You work out for about 15 minutes...I guess that is all you need." She was more talking out loud than saying it in judgment, but I remember feeling like I never wanted to show my face there again. I wasn't being lazy and working out as little as possible, it was all I could manage!

Eventually, swimming got easier. I started swimming 40 laps (front crawl!) and often only stopped because my oxygen sats dropped too low and forced me to stop. Over time, I slowly worked up to 50 laps, then 60 laps, and currently I do 75 laps before I call it quits. I don't stop between laps and no longer need to pull myself from the pool because of oxygen issues.

And as for my naïve assumption all those years ago? Over two years my lung function hasn't budged even 1% point. Not yet, at least. I think about how hard it was to do two consecutive laps two years ago and now I can do 75 in a row and it is hard to believe my lung function hasn't changed. However, I know my lungs have changed! They are in much better condition than they were two years ago. I know my oxygen saturation is better and overall my lungs are healthier and clearer. I may not have been rewarded with higher pfts, but I do believe exercise is allowing me to have a good quality of life despite my low lung function. Also, when I am in the pool I don't feel sick, I feel strong and healthy and powerful now. That is something, as someone with CF, I don't often feel out in my regular life. So emotionally and mentally it helps me too. I guess when I think about all the benefits exercise has given me, I can't be too disappointed that it hasn't helped my lung function (at least not yet...).

Cool Days and Morning Laps

"I am just a head!" my daughter can be heard shouting, her entire torso and limbs submerged, when the bath has turned lukewarm and the chilly air in the bathroom is too cold for comfort. This is my cue to grab the towel off the towel rack, hover it just inches from the bathwater and wrap her the second she emerges from the chilly bath. She is then whisked into the living room where I wrap her in a blanket so she can warm up. Oddly, this routine is the same whether it is the dead of winter or a scorching 100 degree day.

Lately, when I finish my morning laps, I feel like shouting, "I am just a head" because I too find the idea of letting even an inch of my wet body be exposed to the morning air chill inducing. The warmth from heated pool can feel like a safe cocoon from the cold morning air. I find myself in a daily battle between pulling my body from the warm water to briskly walk the 20 ft to the changing room and doing just a few more laps just to stay warm for a few moments longer. And for those lazy days? I fight with myself trying to convince myself to stop huddling in the corner of the pool staring at the clock wondering how late I can push my shower.

How many more months until spring?

Accountability

Most mornings I start my day at 5:20am. I crawl out of bed, pull on a bathing suit, puff my bronchodilator, grab a glass of milk and drive to the gym. I come home, showered, dressed, and having my workout done to a sleeping household. I quickly start my treatments so I don't waste any precious time before my daughter wakes up. She comes wandering into the living room sometime around 7-7:30am. By this point, I am sipping my morning coffee and somewhat impatiently waiting for her to wake up. My favorite part of this routine is that when Kaylee wakes up I am all hers. I can make her a healthy breakfast and sit and chat about our plans for the day. She gets a mommy that is totally present.

While I was feverish and sick I took a week off from the gym. My body was exhausted and I was able to sleep an extra 2 hours everyday which I felt I desperately needed. However, this meant she wandered into my room to wake me up when she was ready to start her day. I was groggy and tired and had no desire to get out of bed while she was bouncing with morning energy that only small children seem to possess. I threw fruit at her and snapped on the TV so I could start my 45 minutes of treatments. I was interrupted because she was still hungry, needed water, was bored watching TV, etc. She would try to tell me something, but I would be coughing so violently I couldn't respond which left her repeating herself over and over. In turn, it made me frustrated that she kept repeating things while I was coughing so hard I couldn't breathe and she got frustrated that I wasn't responding. My 45 minute treatments turned into an hour because of all the times I had to stop. By 8:30 I still wasn't showered, neither of us had breakfast and we were both a little grouchy. One morning after I strapped on my vest to start my treatments Kaylee asked me teary eyed, "Mommy, when are you going to do shaky (vest) in the middle of the night again? I like when you do that better."

Those two sentences were all the motivation and reassurance that I needed to know that my workout routine was something I needed to keep up for a very long time. It is better for my health and my lungs. It is better for me because I can do my treatments uninterrupted and in peace (the way I like it), and just in case that wasn't enough motivation, it made may daughter's morning experience so much better. Trying to fit in treatments and an exercise routine while parenting young children can be a challenge at best, but this time having a small child request that I workout again with tears in her eyes (although for selfish reasons on her part) was the very best motivation I could have asked for.

7 Weeks

7 weeks ago my head was foggy, my eyes blurred as my alarm rang out in the darkness that accompanied 5:20 in the morning. 7 weeks ago dragging my sleepy body out of bed, in what felt like the middle of the night, felt like torture at best. 7 weeks ago I left my house into the dark and frigid night air. 7 weeks ago I pulled over to admire the moon laying full and heavy in the sky. 7 weeks ago my teeth chattered as I walked the long outdoor hallway to the pool all while trying to convince myself not to just turn around and go home. 7 weeks ago I struggled while I swam my first few laps since last fall, huffing and puffing and sputtering. 7 weeks ago I lived for the weekend when the gym wouldn’t see my face.

A lot can change in 7 weeks.

 

7 weeks later, my body is already waking before my alarm rings out. 7 weeks later by 5:20 the sun has already made an appearance and the birds are cheerfully singing. 7 weeks later the walk to the pool, still cold, no longer makes me shiver right to the bone. 7 weeks later, 40 laps comes relatively easy, my arms and legs accustomed to the motions required for front crawl and breast stroke. 7 weeks later my lungs have adjusted and my oxygen levels stay 90 or above (most of the time). 7 weeks later, my arms show clear signs of definition and toning. 7 weeks later my hair is dry as straw despite wearing a swim camp. 7 weeks later I weigh 3lbs more than when I started, which I am convinced is muscle mass. 7 weeks later my body craves my morning swim. 7 weeks later I dread the weekend when I don’t swim because my cough will be more prevalent all day long. 7 weeks later I am proud of myself for fitting this missing puzzle piece back into my self care plan.

Public Pool Humiliation Again Again

Yes, I used again twice in my title. Yes, I know that doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but I never claimed to be a real writer and it is the internet... they let anyone post anything. There are no rules.

My favorite exercise over the years has always been swimming. Yes, I have dabbled in other forms of exercise like jogging and zumba, but I always find my way back to swimming because we have history together. And as the title implies our history has not always been drama free. In fact, nowhere else in my entire life have I experienced humiliation like I have at a swimming pool. And although it has been years since I had an episode such as explosions of mucus or a nip slip complete flashing fiasco I have once again found myself humiliated while donning a bathing suit.

This evening when I arrived at my gym I frantically shoved my belongings into the locker slammed it shut, programmed my locker with my secret code and half walked/ran to the pool. I have this irrational fear that if I don't get to the pool as quickly as possible after arriving at the gym someone will take the last lane and I will have to wait for someone to leave so I can workout. It makes no logical sense, but there you have it.

So I have a decent workout and go to redeem my items from my locker. I punch in my lock code and nothing happens. Oops, wrong locker. I try a a different locker, nothing. I decide to shower and try again afterwards, as if that would change something. To my surprise it did change something. Instead of desperately trying to open my locker in a bathing suit I was now trying to open my locker while holding a towel around my naked self. And as I try over and over again the locker room starts to fill up with women getting changed for water aerobics. The more time I take trying to open this locker the more women start pouring in. Realizing it was a futile task I ask a woman to go to the counter and find someone to help me.

The gym employee comes in and asks for my secret code and starts punching the code in the keypad. I have been at the gym for over a year so I am pretty confident I know how to punch numbers on a keypad, but who was I, naked and cold, to judge. She then starts questioning me, "are you sure this is your locker?", "Are you sure it was on this wall?", Are you sure it was on the top row?" At this point I don't know anything anymore except that my naked confused self is providing a lot of entertainment to the other naked women in the locker room.

Finally, after I promised ten times and swore up and down that locker 122 was indeed the locker that contained my clothes (even though I had NO clue if that was true) she punched in her master code and opened the locker. Low and behold, it was my locker. Half the women cheered, it was that big of a deal. A couple murmured that was their worst fear, and eventually everyone left to their class.

And so now I have learned several lessons over the years: Don't try to retrieve mucus out of a pool, frumpy bathing suits are the way to go, and pay attention when locking up your belongings.

Senior Citizen Status

It is official, I have hit senior citizen status at the ripe old age of 30. Let me back up and explain how this happened. So about 2 months ago I joined the gym as suggested by my doctor. I joined a gym with a pool because I was strongly encouraged to swim since it is a great form of exercise for the lungs. However, for various reasons (including fear of failure) I was avoiding the pool. I went to the gym religiously, but I worked on weights and the elliptical machines, but did not step foot in the pool.

I promised myself last week that this week, the week after my daughters (2nd!!!!) birthday I would start swimming. Monday evening I had childcare for K so I knew my goal was to get in the pool and swim as many laps as possible even if it only meant one. I couldn't find my bathing suit, but since I promised myself that I couldn't come up with excuses I pulled out a tankini I had in the back of my closet and decided to go for it (hoping that nobody would be in the pool to see my beach rather than workout attire).

As I approached the gym I glanced through the fence to the pool hoping to see it vacant. No such luck! In fact, it was really really full. I also quickly noticed that these people in the pool weren't moving, but rather standing around in the water talking. This could only mean one thing- aqua aerobics was about to start. You know, that old lady exercise class that takes over the entire pool. I quickly realized, by looking at the gym class schedule, that the pool would be occupied for the next hour for aqua aerobics which meant I could not do laps. I was standing there in flip flops and my bathing suit and I realized I was left with two options: leave or join the class. I promised myself I would get in the pool so there I was, all 30 years of myself, among 60, 70, 80 year old women.

You know what though? The one thing I did not know about aqua aerobics was that you jump the entire class. Yeah, like jump and clap under your thighs, jump in the splits (HA!), jump to the side, just jump jump jump. And if there is one thing that really shakes up mucus it is jumping. I found myself coughing half way through. I even started coughing to the point that I was starting to get those side glances from the other women and I wanted to shout, "I am not sick, don't worry!!" So despite being 30 years younger than everyone in the class I plan on going next Monday and even the Monday after that!

**Oh and I did get to the pool a few days later and was actually able to get way more laps than I ever imagined I would be able to do after being out of the pool for so long. Take that, 33%!!!***

Exercising in Summer

It is not officially summer yet, but summer weather has arrived. Kaylee and I find ourselves sweaty after our  morning excursion in the vegetable garden so of course jogging has been put on hold for now. I find summer the hardest time of the year to fit in exercise. The weather makes strenuous outdoor exercise difficult and our days are so full it is hard to find the time for a good workout. Although our days are full of walking and biking I find these do very little for my lungs.

This year I found a solution! Literally right across the street there is a membership pool. Community pools are not ideal for exercising, but this pool is a little different. Every hour on the hour there is 20 minutes of adult swim. All kids have to get out of the pool and adults are allowed to do laps. For our little family this is perfect. We head over to the pool around 4:15. We all swim and play in the pool for about 45 minutes. Then my hubby and Kaylee get out and have a snack break in the shade while I do my laps for 20 minutes. When Family bonding time, exercise, daddy/daughter time, and sunshine all wrapped into one. Now I don't want summer to ever end!

Slow And Steady

I am back on the exercise train! I got back into the pool and made it through four laps before I needed to rest. Not as horrible as I thought, but still a far cry from what I was able to do just a few months ago. I did a total of slow 14 laps with several rests between. I could tell my entire body was weak from lack of exercise. Not only did my lungs tire quickly, but my legs, my arms, my core too. My husband and I worked out four days a week that I am going to swim so I am hoping to get back to my old self soon.

I also got on my bike for the first time since before I was pregnant. I almost had a heart attack after trying to go around the block. I was horrified since our neighborhood is flat and I was riding slowly. It was windy, but I was really struggling. My husband noticed my tire was almost completely flat which is why I was having trouble. So I wasn't as horribly out of shape as I thought. After he filled my tires I was able to ride with ease and got a little exercise in.

I will keep updating my progress to hold myself accountable. My goal is to get back to my mile in the pool by mid-June 

Starting Over

I feel as if I am picking up the fragments of my life and starting over...finally. My body was broken from being so sick and so I am starting new. It is frustrating to go so far backwards, to feel as if you lost everything you gained. I feel beaten and low, but I am slowly crawling back to where I used to be. I just received a shipment of Ensure again. It feels slightly like a defeat after a year and a half including a pregnancy and breastfeeding without needing them, but here I am desperate for calories, to gain weight.

Tomorrow morning I am going to try to get into the pool again. It seems funny now how just a few months ago I was trying to increase my speed of swimming a mile in the pool because I now feel afraid to try a single lap. I need to build my endurance, my power, my lungs. I know the laps may be in slow motion with breaks between, but I need this for my health, my life, my daughter.

To lose everything you worked for in a matter of days and requiring months to rebuild it seems cruel at best, but the sickness underestimated my will to be well and I will do everything I possibly can to get back to where I once was.

Exercise Update

I am trying really hard to get my lungs back into shape. My goal is to get my PFTs up 6% so that I can be back to my pre-pregnancy numbers. A few weeks ago I said that I was going to work on being more active. When making big life changes I usually have to take baby steps. I knew that if I started working out 5 days a week I would burn out quickly. I also wanted to be careful not to lose weight because I don't want to hurt my milk supply so I added exercise slowly. I started with swimming one day a week (Thursday). Once that became a routine I added walking at least 5 days a week for 40-60 minutes. It also helped that the weather has been in the high 60s low 70s this past week. Once swimming once a week and walking became habit I added a Sunday swim. My next goal is to start jogging 2 days a week instead of walking since I have a jogging stroller.

I would love to add another swimming day, but at this point I can't figure out how I would work another day in with my husband's work schedule. For now I am just happy that I am actually working out again. I figure swimming 2x/week, jogging 2x/week and walking 3x/week should improve my lung function at least a little.

You Mean I Need To Shave My Legs??

When I openly admitted that I had miserably failed at exercising since becoming a mother you all were much too kind in encouraging me to start again. I seriously expected (and deserved) someone to tell me that I needed to suck it up, grow up, get off my lazy derriere and do SOMETHING, ANYTHING!! Well, your gentle push actually had a great effect. I actually thought a lot about you wonderful readers who told me I needed to exercise for myself and for my daughter. To you wonderful cysters and fibros who commented in encouragement,  THANK YOU!

I started swimming again on Thursday. I was nervous about getting in the pool again, I was nervous I wouldn't be able to even finish a lap, I was nervous I would cough up a lung right into the pool water, I was nervous to leave my baby. Well, I did finish a lap, several actually, I did not hack out a lung, and I even enjoyed a little me time to think while doing laps.

Every time I try to make an excuse not to go I tell myself that I am doing it because I want to see my little Kay bug graduate from college!

Big Fat Juicy Plug!!!

Today while doing my HTS 7% I started coughing and could taste that something nasty was being brought up from my lungs. Low and behold the biggest fattest juiciest plug in all of history came out of my lungs! It was HUGE and LONG and had a bunch of little arms which I believe were plugging all the surrounding airways.

Is this the plug that was causing me so much pain?! If it was I can see why because it was a monster! The only reason I am not 100% convinced is because last night after swimming and doing my treatments I was in bed and could feel something in my right lobe moving or dislodging itself. I couldn't cough it out, but it definitely felt like a plug moving. I had NEVER coughed out a plug until about 11 months ago after my honeymoon (I think from the salty ocean air) and now I get mini plugs (the tiny tiny ones that are really hard, but oh so small) about once a week and have gotten at least 5 big ones!

I seriously cannot explain the joy and thrill of coughing these out! I feel like my lungs are reopening and I am breathing better everyday. How is this happening you ask? What is the secret?! No, I am not "lucky" and it is not a miracle or a secret, but it IS 100% DUE TO EXERCISE! Specifically swimming because I have exercised in the past and never gotten plugs out. I also have to contribute the plug expelling to airway clearance because of course this plug would not have been coughed out if I was not doing my airway clearance.

I have not felt this good since...I can't even remember! Sometimes when I take a deep breath in I feel like I can breath in "forever" as if my airways never stop. Mind you, I only have an FEV1 of 54% so it is not like I really can and a lot of you CFers probably breath better than I do. But the contrast of how I felt before to how I feel now makes me feel invincible!

Okay, nobody like a braggy post so I am done. FYI I took a pic of my plug is anyone is brave enough to see it. Now if you are reading this GO EXERCISE!!!!

Public Pool Humiliation

Okay, the title is a little dramatic, but I can be dramatic at times. At least THIS pool humiliation was not as bad as my last public pool humiliation. At least this time I kept me clothes on for goodness sake! I must worn you it is gross and has to do with mucus so if that grosses you out feel free to move along...

This was a particularly busy day at the gym pool and every lane had at least 2 people in it. I chose a lane with the 65 year old man I like to swim next to because we swim at the same pace. I am not sure if it was from the antibiotics or the NAC or maybe it was just one of those days, but my lungs felt amazing. For the first time in a long time my legs gave out before my lungs! So at one point after doing a set of laps I needed to a break to let me poor legs rest. I was at the end of the lane breathing hard trying to catch my breath. Now before I continue I must add a seemingly small, but in fact significant detail. There is a hot tub, spa, and steam room in the same location. The hot tub people are really close to the pool and can basically watch you swim while they relax. This will come into play later. So I am huffing and puffing because even though my legs wore out first, my lungs still got a major workout. Now please note I was not coughing because I am very good at covering my cough. Rather, I was simply breathing hard when all of the sudden a lovely ball of bright green slim came flying out of my body and plopped into the pool right in front of me.

OMG! I have never "lost" a little friend without coughing, it just doesn't happen. I was SO shocked. I wanted to quickly scoop it up because it was quite sizable and bright and DISGUSTING! I tried to scoop once, twice, and three times. The water was sloshing around too much from the other swimmers to get a good grip on that nasty little blob. I could feel the hot tub people burning holes into me as I frantically fruitlessly scooped at the water. Okay, I don't know for a fact that anyone noticed, but I was too humiliated to even look. I started to notice that my lap partner was approaching the wall and he always takes a breather before doing another lap. OMG! He will see this toxic waste I spewed in the pool and what then? I couldn't face the humiliation so I did as any other polite courteous law abiding citizen would do...I swam away and FAST!

I know it gross and I am sure you are all glad that I don't swim in your pool. Heck, I didn't even want to swim with me after I saw my mucus. But if it makes you feel any better I think the chemicals in the pool killed any bacteria and on my return lap I saw that it had pretty much dissipated so no one will go home with a glob in their hair. Regardless, I still feel humiliated and have no idea how many people saw me scrambling after a slimy green blob in the pool. I love swimming, but I sure find ways to humiliate myself in the pool a lot!

Very Stubborn..Kinda Like Me

This plug will NOT move for the life of me. I am using albuterol and Mortin every 4 hours, vesting (in all different positions) for an hour at a time 3x/day, manual CPT 2x/day, using a vial and 1/2 of hypertonic saline instead of one vial, plus all my regular stuff and the thing is still stuck!! If anyone has advice, PLEASE share it!! I am desperate!

In other news, I was able to swim yesterday and it caused almost no pain. This was probably because I was all drugged up on Mortin, but I was happy nonetheless. The other great news is that I had a post swim coughing attack on my way home that was so bad that I had to pull over into a parking lot because I couldn't drive. Yes, I know this doesn't sound like great news, but it was. I really thought the plug was coming out because I was coughing so hard I couldn't breath or see which rarely happens. I did not move the plug (dammit), but I did start coughing out some very old disgusting dark green mucus. This continued all evening. It was awesome because my mucus lately is always very light yellow and super thin so this nasty stuff must have been from way deep down. It is amazing that thick nasty mucus can make my ecstatic when "normal" people would probably throw up with disgust.

Last bit of news, the other day hubber and I got to play with his 1 and something month old cousin. It was so fun! When we arrived the baby squealed and came running/wobbiling over to hubber full blast and attempted to climb up his legs. Hubber picked him up and the baby nuzzled hubber so hard, I thought the baby was trying to nuzzle right through hubber's skin. The baby loved my husband so much that although I usually have the magic touch with kids (That is my job after all) the baby only had eyes for hubber. If fact, when my husband went to the restroom the baby fell on the floor and cried hysterically until he came back. I love seeing that my husband is so good with kids and that they love him. It really melts my heart, BUT I am now concerned that if we become parents I will NOT be the favorite parent. Sigh.