Back in March I went out for a ladies night a few nights before everyone started thinking about avoiding crowds. It was so nice to be out with friend's from Kaylee's school. But I couldn't brush off this nagging feeling that maybe I shouldn't be out in public. The virus seemed to be looming. I had no idea that 2 days later Kaylee's school would have a confirmed case of coronavirus and our whole world was about to shrink very quickly. Kaylee's last day of school was March 13th. My husband's last day of work was around the same time as well so our little family of three (plus 2 cats) have been spending a lot of quality of time together.
At first, everyday felt a bit shocking. I would rush in the morning to check the news. This new normal felt so very foreign and almost unreal. But years of being sick and hospitals stays gave me the wisdom to know that people adapt. We can and will adapt. I have learned to adapt to lower lung function, to being able to do so much less physically, to functioning while ill and feverish, to the flow of hospital life, to existing while dying. I knew soon enough our family would adapt to self isolation. And we have.
There are moments when the reality of everything hits me and I think, "Holy crap! There is a killer virus traveling around the world killing thousands of people and we have to wear masks, and avoid our friends and stay home as much as possible." But most days we wake up and put one foot in front of another. We do online learning, we mask up before going out, we do grocery pick up. We spend a lot of time in the kitchen cooking, baking and creating. We spend time being thankful we are together and healthy.
It's not to say that everything is perfect. Online school is definitely not Kaylee's prefered way of schooling. And all that baking/cooking leaves a lot of dishes to be done. We miss our friends and family. We miss hugging those we care about and adventure. I oddly miss the grocery store.
But humans are strong and we adapt. This surreal existence is starting to feel normal and we are finding our groove in this somewhat lonely, somewhat humdrum life. But we are alive and healthy(ish) and we have one another.
And I know from experience that I can adapt, but I am not naive to the fact that for some may struggle with this new normal and adapting might not come easily. We all have different life stories and we all have different struggles. Just know it is okay to not be okay. And it is always okay to ask for help.