Mr Sharpy

There are certain experiences we have as a kid that through the lens of the parent is so radically different that watching your child live out those same experiences can feel confusing. Early November brought one of those experiences to our household. There was a lot of excitement buzzing in the air because Kaylee, after wishing and hoping since the age of 3, finally had a tooth that was on the cusp of falling out. Being a young first grader and possible a bit late to bloom in the dental arena, Kaylee felt as if she were the very last first grader to have all of her baby teeth. So when that tooth finally started to really wiggle her excitement could not be contained. And one evening as I was tidying up in the kitchen and my husband was working on Spanish with her, she squealed, "My tooth fell out!!"

She was busy jumping around the kitchen when I asked to see her baby tooth. She gave me a wide open mouth grin, bearing a little empty spot in her smile that exposed a little pink gum and she quickly deposited her baby tooth in my hand. Seeing that little strip of gum shot me back to the days when her smile was all gums. And then glancing at the tiny little tooth in my palm I was remembering the day that her very first tooth, lovingly named "Mr. Sharpy" by my husband, burst through. Suddenly, with the emergence of that tiny white fleck in her baby mouth all the fussy nights and cluster nursing made sense and somehow it all felt worth it because my baby had her very first tooth!! And now, that same tooth that brought so much excitement was sitting, useless in my hand. And yes, I was excited. How could I not be with a 6 year old brimming with pride over this tiny tooth and the adult tooth that would arrive a few days later? But I also felt an overwhelming sense of sadness? Or was it nostalgia. I can't be certain, but something was tugging at my heart strings that made me want to pull Kaylee closer and demand her to stop growing older.

These milestones that our children keep hitting bring them so many feeling of joy and excitement and I clearly remember the thrill that came from losing some of my own teeth. But as a mom, these milestones come with a harsh reminder that life keeps marching on and our children keep growing older and more independent of us. And yes, ultimately this is what we want for our children to grow up and apart from us, to be their own independent beings. Oh, but this mama heart wishes time would slow down just a bit so I can enjoy being her mama for as long as possible.