My baby took her first real steps out into the real world this past week. On Tuesday September 13th, Kaylee, my husband and I walked hand in hand into a local preschool, helped Kaylee hang her backpack on a hook, and watched from the sidelines as she explored the school where she would spend two mornings a week.
When the teacher started calling the kids to the carpet to start their very first day I snuck over to say my goodbyes. As I was hugging my baby goodbye, feeling my heart swell with so much pride I could feel the pride forming tiny tears in my eyes, I asked Kaylee if she was ready for mommy and daddy to leave. I wanted to leave her when she felt strong and ready. She looked at me with those big blue eyes, wrapped her arms around me and said, "Mommy, I will let you go." And just like that she smiled, turned to the teacher only to turn back one time with a confident wave goodbye.
Her wording stuck with me as I walked down the hallway lined with miniature sized backpacks. "I will let you go..." I knew in my heart that she was the one ready to adventure out in the real world. Her words rang true that I was the one holding on so tight. I was the one that needed reassurance that it was okay to send the biggest piece of my heart out into the harsh world. I was the one that was having trouble reconciling that each year from here on out she would become more and more independent and I would ever so slightly fade into the background of her life. But I was the one that had trouble letting her go. Kaylee, full of curiosity and wonder and a healthy sense of naivety, was more than ready to find her own path.
To witness the confident, independent, and self assured little girl Kaylee has grown to be was enough to make my mommy heart swell so large it caused physically pain in my chest that morning as I got in my car and drove away. Even after four years of loving this child with every fiber of my being I am still in awe how the human heart can love so immensely!