Best Day Ever

So I had pretty much the best day ever. Well, not ever ever, but pretty close.  Let me start by saying that yesterday a teacher from our school was out and there was a sub. I am in her room for a few hours a day and being in the room with a sub it made me miss subbing.I like my job, but there is something about being in charge of 32 kids that is just so FUN! So I was talking to the sub and she has been trying to get a teaching job for 4 years now!! WHAT?! That is crazy. Anyway, at the end of the day I was feeling bummed because I missed subbing and wished I could get benefits by being a sub. Well, you can't so I was bummed for the ride home and then moved on with life.

Today I showed up to work (wearing my favorite outfit, mind you) and about 30 minutes into the day my supervisor rushes in and says that a sub didn't show up and I needed to teach a class for them. I am one of two credentialed  paras so they decided to use me as the sub. I was excited because I LOVE teaching, but was sad because the class I was working with was putting on the play they had been practicing and I was going to miss it. Of course I said yes to subbing because I would never turn down anything that might win me brownie points and I love teaching. So I wrote quick sub notes for the person that would be filling in for me and rushed to the 4th grade wing. Nothing spectacular happened and the kids were pretty average kids as far as behavior, but OMG I was having a blast. By the end of the day when the kids left I had SO much energy! I was on a teaching high which is way better that any runners high. It renewed my belief that teaching is my calling even if the economy sucks and there are no jobs. I can't think of anything more fun. One of the kids even came up to me at the end of the day and said I was funner (I tried not to cringe at the use of the word funner) than any other sub in all of history! The kids were well behaved we all liked each other and I just wish more than anything that I could do that everyday!

Sleeping Through the Night Again

I just finished my two week course of the cipro/bactrim (or was it levequin/bac I never pay attention anymore) and I am grateful for one main reason. Sure getting better is nice, and not having to take a pill saves me 12 seconds a day, but these are not the best parts of being antibiotic free. There is something much better than all of these combined...not waking up in the middle of the night to pee!!! Since I take the pills when I wake up and then again before bed I always end up drinking a full glass of water before bed. A full glass of water before bed = waking up at 4 in the morning to empty a really full bladder. I am usually a really nice and easy going person, but don't mess with my sleep. Just ask my husband when he snores, it is not pretty. And besides how do you get better without a full nights sleep? So I am happy to say that I can now sleep my full 7 or 8 hours a night without bladder interruptions.

And for all you people rolling your eyes and thinking, "Well, why the heck doesn't she take her pills earlier int he evening and avoid the whole problem?" I know. Sounds dumb but unless I take take pills first thing in the morning, with meals, or at bedtime I will never remember them. I am now off to a restful night of zzz's.

Beads of Hope

My amazingly supportive little sister started making bracelets in order to help raise money for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. They are super cute and she puts a lot of love into each one. If you want a fun way to support CF and get a cute bracelet out of the deal check out my sister's etsy site here!!!! Go to her profile on the site to read about why she is doing this.

P.S. Can you tell which hand is mine in the heart?? I will give you a clue- there is some clubbing going on.


**Upon further investigation you can't see a close up of our hands from that link, but you can from this one! Although the first link gives you a better view of the bracelets and the cute Beads of Hope title she made.

How far along are you?

So I have the infamous CF belly. It is probably the strangest part of CF which is saying a lot because there are a LOT of weird things that come with CF. The CF belly is greatly highlighted by the CFers tiny slender arms, our fat free legs and thighs (also known as chicken legs or as my husband lovingly calls them frog legs) and our slender frame. It is just so random to have a round belly among all these skinny little extremities. The other fascinating part of the CF belly is that it seems to come and go without rhyme nor reason. There may be a day that all seems right in the world with my CF body: no problems with my gut, nothing unusual eaten, and no forgotten enzymes and YET my CF belly will be full force. In fact this happened on Thursday. As each hour passed my belly seemed to pouch a little bit more. By the evening I was sitting on the couch and looking at my beer belly. I called hubster over and asked had him check it out. We both laughed at how huge my stomach looked. Today, flat as a pancake. Huh? With my new enzymes I never really have bad gut days and can't remember the last time I felt gassy or bloated and yet my CF belly still finds days when it is all too visible. And so I share with you, cysters, my not so dear friend: The CF belly.

BTW it was REALLY hard to find pics of the belly. With digital cameras I just push delete if I look hugely pregnant. Also, usually when I am getting my picture taken I do the suck in :)

Here is a great example. Skinny arms and legs, but what is that little baby bump doing!? Thank god I am not a celebrity, I would be all over the tabloids as pregnant EVERY month.


Okay, here is a doozy! The worst CF belly pic I have. I am even embarrassed to post it, but hell here it is anyway!

I totally look like a have a giant beer belly or I am immensely pregnant! I just love how it starts all the way under my girls at my rib cage. Like how does that happen it isn't even considered the stomach area?! Luckily, my belly does not usually look like this, but on random off days when my belly decides to grow into an unsightly beast this is what I am left with.  


I am pretty sure this is what my belly looked like on Thursday when my husband and I were laughing at my CF bump. It is actually worse when I sit down because it seems to sit on top of my pants making it appear even larger.

And I learned the hard way that you can't work out until the belly is gone because it has nothing to do with stomach muscles or body fat. Besides CFers have the strongest belly muscles around from our daily coughing workout. So for now I will simply have to enjoy my good belly days and on the bad belly days I will simply enjoy people going out of their way to help the pregnant lady.

Here are some beautiful cysters who are also willing to share their CF belly with the CF world! Seriously, we are all beautiful, belly and all!

• Colleen from *Live*Laugh*Love*Breath posted about hers here.
• Megan from Breathing Deeply, Laughing Loudly, and Living Fully posted about hers (and a great idea for buying pants with a CF belly) here

Feel free (if you are as crazy as me) to blog your CF belly and I will link you to my post.

In Need Of Positive Thoughts

I have not been in the mood to write lately. There was a tragedy in the CF mommy world recently that really struck me. It has made me question everything and made me think about my choices for the future. I remember asking my OB if she ever lost a CF mommy or a baby (with a CF mommy) during pregnancy in which she firmly answered no. I felt (falsely) assured that as long as you were healthy enough to sustain a pregnancy and no other factors came into play (for example early miscarriage which is common in ALL woman) the pregnancy would be successful with the biggest fear being preterm labor. Of course CF complications don't wait until the "perfect" time to expose themselves.

I guess the reason I don't feel like writing lately is I feel that with something so horrible happening right now talking about my mundane life feels almost disrespectful. Please send some positive thoughts or vibes or prayers (whatever is your style) to a Cyster that is in dire need of them right now. 

Don't Go Too Soon

September has become my favorite month because along with the start of autumn, September is also home to my anniversary month. We have been married a year which may not seem long, but it is hard for me to remember life without my husband. I cannot begin to express with written words what he means to me and I have yet to find spoken words that can properly represent my feelings towards my husband.

Often times late at night when we are cuddled in bed just about to doze off or when I am looking through old photographs of our laughing faces and rosy cheeks conjuring up memories of wonderful times we spent together I get these pains that reverberate through my very core. The root of this pain is heinous disease that stands in the way of watching our love evolve as we grow old and grey and wise. How I would love to hold my husband's hand when it is wrinkled and covered in soft, tan liver spots. I would love to touch the soft papery feel of his skin that is so unique to those who have seen more than I ever will. I want to pluck each other's grey hairs just to watch 4 grow in its place. I want to get to the point that plucking grey hairs is a humerous impossibility lest we lose all the hair on our heads. I want to watch how we persevere through slow and achy joints and trouble getting off the couch because our knees have done it a few too many times. I want to hold my husband when wrinkles have overtaken our youthful beauty. I wish these things on all I have, but if wishing made things true we would never have to deal with the merciless killer residing in my body.

I find myself feeling I must fit all the years of "I love you" and "You are my world" or "I would give anything to spend the rest of my life in your arms" into the years we do have. I want to bombard his heart with all my words of love so when I am gone he will still have a lifetime's worth of my words. I want to be sure that when I am gone he will never for a second doubt how much he means to me and how badly I wanted us to have a forever after. I find I sometimes miss him knowing I will be leaving him too soon and so I wrap my arms around him just a little bit tighter and snuggle close just a little bit longer and whisper "I love you" for the 100th time that week so that I can bring his memory with me into eternity.

Cough. Cough.

So my mild cold like symptoms turned into my very first full on cold of the school year. I made it just about a month into school before getting sick, but I did not get sick from school. Rather, I got sick from my dear old husband! Here is the typical scenario of how colds get passed in my family.

My husband gets home from work and I start asking him about his day. He answers and I notice he sniffled twice during his answer. "Are you getting sick?" He thinks for a second assessing how he feels "Uhh yeah, maybe, I guess so..." 


The next day his voice sounds a little strange and he has to blow his nose a few times. "How are you feeling?" I asked him. "Uhh, I think I am sick." Later that night he goes on a guys night out to the bars. I warn him that if he goes out while sick it will get worse or he could relapse. He goes out anyway and doesn't get home till around 1:00. The next day he is 100% better and feels great.


I pick up his cold somewhere along the line and mine goes something like this.
First sign of cold: 3-4 vest treatments a day, restart Cayston, drink emergen-C 4x/day, take all my "getting sick supplements", gargle salt water 3x/day, sinus rinses 3x/day, go to bed extremely early. And I. still. get. sick.

Last night I was talking to the husband and then all of the sudden I gave three hard coughs and *poof* my voice was gone. I then continued to cough for the next 12 hours nonstop! I called in sick and scared the crap out of my supervisor because I sounded like a monster with my voice going in and out and being super scratchy. I then fell back asleep after treatments (around 7am) til 2:00pm. I am feeling better after that 7 hour nap and thank goodness I still have an appetite.

On the plus side hubbers has been amazing. When I woke up he told me how depressing the house feels when I am sick. He then pulled out lunch for both of us and even went out to get my favorite drink- agua frescas de sandia. He then told me to go outside and look at my car. I stumbled outside to find that he had cleaned the interior and exterior of my car!! I wanted to get my car cleaned (inside) when school started, but never got around to it. I have no voice and so I have to rely on my miming skills which are actually pretty good if I do say so myself. Hubbers purposely misconstrued everything I said for his own entertainment purposes which made me silently laugh all day! We spend the remaining of the day (before he had to go to work) snuggled up and relaxing.

The worst part is...my test strip on the OPK is getting very very close to the control color. Like I have to squint to tell the difference. Really body?? You want to ovulate while I was sick, but could care less about dropping an egg when I was good and healthy. Sigh. I keep hoping my ovulation gets delayed, but we will see.

**P.S. I found the belly pics to post, I just need to crop them so they will be up soon**