A New Low

Motherhood is not glamorous by any means, but today I hit an all time low. I was lifting Kaylee over my head making her smile her sweet gummy smiles when all of the sudden a flood of spit up came flowing right from my dear baby's mouth and directly into my mouth! Breast milk is surprisingly sweet, but I have confirmed today that regurgitated breast milk  really isn't my drink of choice....

A Little Behind

Lots of my blogger friends have been blogging about Autumn. The crisp cool air, leaves changing colors and falling from trees, of warm drinks, and snuggly sweaters. While the rest of the country is welcoming fall we are stuck in limbo. This happens every year, the rest of the country starts to see the bright oranges, fiery reds, glowing yellows while we are just seeing the first glimpses of a potential fall. As the rest of the world gets blanketed in cold winds and winter weather we finally find ourselves in fall. I guess we have trouble letting go of the warmth and sunshine over here.

Our fruit basket is full of all my favorite fall fruits from my parent's backyard, the pumpkins are lined up out front, apple cider is in the fridge, and pumpkin muffins in the over. And yet, there is a watermelon chilling in our fridge, people still in shorts (although some have switched to jeans a tank tops), walks are taken in the evening when the temperature drops and the leaves have just barely, ever so slightly, started changing colors. 

So for now we wait by eating our last few meals outside, rocking on our porch glider in the evening to the sound of crickets, and leaving the windows open to let in fresh air before we close down for winter. 

A Little Busy

So I have about seven blog posts started that are waiting to be published. I am having trouble finishing them because I have been spending my time listening to baby giggles, snuggling on the cough, kissing little toes, bathing a little splasher, doing loads of laundry, cleaning spit up off the floor, taking hundreds of pictures and just as many videos, wiping drool off my arms, pulling my hair out of little fists, acting as a human chew toy and watching my little girl grow and learn. Best. Job. Ever.

4 Months Old!!!!!!

Dear Little Peanut,
You are four months old today! I have to say in the last month you have become so much fun I can't stand it! My soft spoken sweet little girl is learning she has vocal cords and loves to play with volume when you talk. You love to talk, but are still selective in who you will talk to. Strangers will get a smile, but you never grace them with your chit chat. You roll both ways, but you get kinda mad when you roll on your back because you really dislike laying on your back staring at the ceiling. You grab just about everything and try to eat it.


Things You Love: All the things you adored in the past are now boring and old! You sometimes will glance at your pom poms, but during diaper changes you are usually too busy sucking on your toes. You may glance at your mobile, but you are usually too busy rolling over or pulling off your socks to notice it much. And fanny, well Fanny doesn't even exist in your world anymore. You love looking at the leaves on trees, watching me from your high chair in the kitchen, and watching us brush our teeth! Oh and the carseat you used to hate so much now doesn't bother you at all. Instead you play with your toys or talk to yourself and it is hard to believe, but sometimes you even fall asleep!

Things You Dislike: Oh and the carseat you used to hate so much now doesn't bother you nearly as much anymore. Instead you play with your toys or talk to yourself and it is hard to believe, but sometimes just sometimes you even fall asleep!

The Day I Became A Mother

October 8th was a day that will be etched into my heart forever. This is a journal entry from one year ago today. 

There are certain moments that take our world, our lives, our very existence and rearrange them so drastically that our current selves, our current lives will never resemble our former selves again. These changes affect everything we think, we do, we believe. For me on the morning of October 8, 2011 two small occurrences altered my whole entire existence and I know for sure my life will never be the same.

I woke up at 8:30 feeling refreshed even after falling into bed at 1:00 am the night before. I didn't feel groggy or tired or have any desire to stay in bed for even a moment longer for the first time since I could remember. 

No, today was different, I had a mission. I needed the truth and I needed it as soon as possible even if it left me empty and hollow when I was through. The risk of the mission came from the fact that it could end so beautifully and yet it never did, leaving me cold and broken on the floor among dying dreams and fruitless wishes. I pulled my body out of the bed walking across the floor painted with sun beams from the early morning. The air was crisp and the carpet was cold against my rested feet. I woke up with a full bladder. It was the first time in a week that my bladder didn’t pull me out of bed at hours that only the moon is supposed to see. I pushed open the bathroom door and it was there in the tiny apartment bathroom, among the leaking ceiling, the cracks in the walls, and the sink that never drained right my life was forever changed. 

Two bright and happy pink lines appeared in the pregnancy test window filling my heart with a joy I have never known before. The welling of excitement bubbled from my chest to throat to my mouth. “Oh my god!” slipped from my lips first in disbelief, almost a question. It escaped again and again until it came out in a happy rush because I finally believed it to be true, “Oh my god!”  

In an instant I clutched my now occupied womb to speak to the child I have been wanting since as long as I could remember. Thoughts ran through my head so quickly it made me dizzy.  My husband  at work was oblivious to the life altering news I had just discovered which left me with this secret between me and my baby. The two of us shared our first secret, out first moment that nobody else could share. I felt an instant bond to my baby that only I knew existed.

The thoughts and questions come so quickly it makes me dizzy. I wonder if my baby will be a boy or a girl. Will my baby have my husband’s dark hair or my light hair? Will I be healthy throughout pregnancy? I think of CF and all I need to do to prepare for this child by taking care of my lungs. I think of the books I need to buy. I think of the things I promised myself I would do. I need to buy more fruit and I need to make sure I am eating for my baby and not for myself anymore. I feel mother’s guilt for the first time in that I told myself I would not drink caffeine and yet I did. I feel excited that I can feel mothers guilt because I am a mother!!

I touch my breasts knowing that they instinctively are preparing for the baby as women’s breasts have done throughout the existence of human kind. They knew before I did, preparing to nurture this child of mine before his or her existence was in my realm of knowing.  I think for once how beautiful and amazing my body is, to create a life without my knowing.  Despite the fact that my body can’t clear out my excess mucus or properly digest the food I consume this broken body can create a life and be a safe home for a new soul. I am powerful and strong. I am a mother!

Understanding Cloth Diapers Part 3

To read Understanding Cloth Diapers Part 1 go here and for part 2 go here!

If I were to ask 30 women for their favorite brand of jeans chances are everyone would give me a different answer. Your favorite brand may very well be the least flattering brand of jean I have ever tried on. Just as women are shaped very differently so are babies which is why different moms love different cloth diapers. With that being said I am still going to tell you what works for me and why I use the brands I do!

But first, I will say that the cloth diapering world has hundreds of options and when I first started I was a little overwhelmed. Over the past few months I have made decisions that I would not make again, but I was just trying to navigate through all the choices. So here are the things I wish I new before I started choosing diapers.

1. Variety? Unlike what many cloth bloggers will make you believe you can find a brand, love it, and stick with it. When I was looking up blogs to learn about them so many bloggers had dozens of different types of diapers. I found a brand I liked, but felt like I may be depriving myself of an even better brand. So I bought a few and still preferred my original favorite and shouldn't have wasted time or money on trying to see what was out there.
2. China vs Anywhere else: I am weird about buying things from China that my baby will have lots of exposure to. For example, teething toys which will be in her mouth nonstop or diapers that she will be wearing over and over for the next few years. I do know moms that actually get diapers shipped from China because they are SUPER cheap (sun.baby) and love them, it just didn't feel right for my family.

My Favorite Diaper:

So my favorite daytime diaper (drum roll please!) is the Flip. I LOVE LOVE this diaper. To me it is perfection (and  no I am not getting paid to say this, but sooo wish I was!) Here is why I LOVE the flip:

1. Cleaner: When you change a dirty pre-solids diaper (0-6months) and all wet diapers you can simply flip the dirty insert out of the diaper into the diaper pail. Easy and keeps your hands clean!
2. Less laundry: Unlike pockets you can reuse the cover so you have to put in the insert in the wet bag/diaper pail every diaper change, but the cover (unless soiled) is not going to be added to the dirty laundry bag every change.
3. Cheaper: These diapers will fit from 10lbs all the way to potty training!
4. Faster: There is no stuffing. I simply fold the organic cotton and lay the microfiber in her drawer. Easy!
5. Leak Proof: I have never ever had a leak!!! And my baby is great at blowing through any disposable diaper out there.
6. Versatile: You can use Flip brand inserts or any brand prefold so you have more flexibility.
7. Cute: I love their colors and although some cloth have adorable patterns I like coordinating her diaper and her outfit so solids work better anyway.

The Flip can be used with either the organic cotton, microfiber, or a prefold of a different brand. Below I show you the two Flip brand options:

 The microfiber wicks water away from your baby leaving them drier, but is not a natural fiber.Here is how to use microfiber:

1. Here you have a Flip cover and the microfiber insert.

2. It is hard to see in the pic, but the inside of the insert tells you where to fold the insert for a small, medium, or large setting.

Fold and lay in cover. For a boy the folded part goes in front and for a girl it goes in the back. You are done!  Smooth side should be against baby's bottom.  When this gets soiled, flip the insert into the wet bag/pail.



The second option is Organic Cotton. This is better if you want natural fibers on your baby's bottom. It does not wick moisture away as well as microfiber, but is very absorbent. You want to change baby a little sooner if this is the insert you use.

Here is the unfolded organic cotton insert.

Fold into thirds along the seams.

Lay in cover and you are done!!

What is the difference between the two inserts?

Organic cotton on the right. Microfiber on the left.

The organic cotton seem to stain easier, but since I live in a climate that is sunny most of the year I don't mind since laying them in the sun for a few hours removes even the worst stains. Also, I hang dry in the sun anyway so all my diapers get sun "bleached" every wash anyway. If you live in a climate that isn't too sunny you may want to pass up the organic cotton. (side note: the cotton is MUCH softer if it is dried in the dryer so I usually hang dry and then throw it in the dryer with some of my other clothes for a few minutes to fluff it up. Microfiber is super soft even when sun dried).

Also the organic cotton is a little bulkier so some people don't like the extra bulk. 

The top is microfiber and the bottom is organic cotton.

Things to Note

• Microfiber is a man made fiber while organic cotton is  a natural fiber. I like using natural fibers, but also like that microfiber keeps her drier so I like to rotate the two inserts.
• Newborn poop is very liquidy and I felt like the organic cotton protected the cover better than microfiber so I liked it for the beginning when she went multiple times a day. It saved me from going through so many covers. Which leads me to my next point. Yes, the idea is that you can reuse the cover unless it gets soiled and I have heard complaints that newborn poop gets on the cover often. Some people feel this makes the diaper less than ideal for babies before they start solids. It is not a big deal to me if I have to replace the cover a few times a day. And now that she is older I can usually get through the day with 1 or 2 covers. Just know that with newborn poop you may need to change the cover when they have a big poop.

Farewell September

I am sad to see September go. It is one of my favorite months. It was the month 2 years ago that I married my husband, the next year it was the month I conceived (although we didn't know it yet) and it is when the weather (usually) starts cooling down. It is also the time I start getting prematurely excited for the holidays.

I always said I love babies when they turn 3 months, but as I have gotten further away from babysitting I started to forget why. This September reminded me why! I loved every stage of babyhood so far, but 3 month is when Kaylee started hitting really fun milestones. In the month of September she learned to:
Play with her feet
Grab toys
Pull her toy strings to make music play
Talk nonstop!
Spit and blow raspberries
laugh
ROLL over!!
and developed such a fun personality! I have a feeling the fun has just begun!